donuts

just a humorous note while im working -

this guy just called me: Guy, Man, Buddy and Pal all in 2 sentences, and then handed me 4 dollars and said 'there ya go, 4 donuts! see ya Dude!'


haha
people are so f-ing weird

-jordan

the 2 best things/worst things ive seen on tv lately

So i got home alive tonight even through the snow storm and slippery roads, mikes pizza in-hand, ready to sit down to a nice meal and some mindless tv. but i coudlnt find anything worthwhile on tv AT ALL. but as i was passing through channels 2-25 (usually the lamest channels) i noticed a tv show on channel 4 or 5 called "Celebrities Without Make-up". I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw this, so i had to go back and make sure my eyes had not decieved me. A tv show - that airs on national tv, devoted to showing celebrities without make-up??? has this world gone completely mad??? just yesterday I noticed the new Us Weekly book devoted to the rise and fall of the great American Gods Brad & Jenn, the book cleverly titled "Brad & Jenn", at the local CVS. I had previously seen this book ridiculed on the Daily Show, and i couldnt believe that there was a book that came out DAYS after their break up that attempted to recount their entire relationship. As if the media has any real idea what celebrity life is like. The point being, that i didnt think that book could be topped in ridiculousness of American media and what the american audience would buy into - this show topped it.

Amazing TV experience #2 was right after i moved on from the Celebrities W/O Make Up show (which was on commercial when i flipped it on and I was not willing to wait to see what it was really like). A friendly, familiar face came on the screen. One I hadn't seen in a while, that none of us had seen in a while. This familiar face was dressed in cowboy gear and singing a little diddy about something or other. Low and behold this face was none other than HOOTY!!! from hooty and the blow-fish, aka darius rudger (or somehting like that). That black guy from the white guy band who sounds like a white guy himself. But then i realized that it wasnt the Hooty we once knew, it was SELL OUT Hooty. This wasn't a music video, but Hooty singing a repulsive folk-style song about the new bacon burger at burger king!! I was flabbergasted. This was absolutely the first thing ive seen him do in the last 5-8 years, and that is all he could get?? Parading around in a terrible, laughable cowboy outfit in a terrribley stupid commercial, selling his soul/ aka singing a full length song about how great burger king burgers are!!

UNBELIEVABLE!

so, those were the two most dispicable and yet absolutely hilarious things ive seen on tv today.

let me know if you can come up with anything better

-jordan

fuck british people and their flatmate hating popular blogs

ok i just clicked on a link to someones blog that the Blogger.com site suggested i go to because it is popular. It's called something like "reasons why I hate my flatemate". Immediately I think "brilliant idea! this was the original idea of the media wave blog". so i actually start reading it, which is rare cause i usually dont read other peoples blogs. What could have been a really funny blog is just kind of like... eh. Yes, the content is funny, but the writer is not. Therefor it isnt very entertaining. Good quality: short posts. I'm trying to work on that since i know ye of small attention span out there (everyone) hates "long" posts and ususally skip them (big mistake), but other than that it was borderline interesting and then i stopped reading cause it wasnt all that funny.
so guess why i am writing about it? Each of the blog entries had at least 30 comments!!! some of them had over 60! 60 Comments for 1 blog post about your roommate not tightening the sink faucet!! how does the media wave blog get that kind of exposure!!!??!! we are lucky if we get 1 comment, and thats from people we know. One time i got a comment from a fellow blogger than I didnt know at all.

wheres the audience??? what the fuck.

balls to unfunny blogs that are ass popular.

-jordan

The M.O. of M.I.

I'd like to formally express my intentions with this blog:

world domination.

I've already started a super-deadly ninja attack squad, and despite the small roster it is still a massive success already, even if we haven't held up any fast food places just yet.
But I'm talking world domination on a more media-based level. I want a cult following. I want a legion of devoted readers. then I want the blog to be published as a philosophy text for colleges.
So, if you read this blog and you like it (well, that goes without saying), tell your friends and neighbors. go on other blogs and link this. post it on your office bulletin boards. print out flyers and leave them on cars. yell it from the rooftops!
well anyway,
i wish this stupid blogger site had a way of tracking all the visitors so i could know how many people check it.

there are more gangs in the work, and maybe a record label or something.

so theres no real point to this post, unless any of you reading this are actually going to tell your friends to read it and maybe even comment. either way... i do plan on world domination.


-jordan


ps the title refers to a really funny title we are getting in celebration of gay & lesbian month (when this is i dont know or if it really exists.. it certainly wouldnt under this administration) called "The M.O. of M.I. (The Modus Operandi of Male Intimacy)"... just strikes me as a really funny/stupid title. There was other really funny gay movie stuff on the cover but i forgot.

Finally, Something to Make My Sex Life Enjoyable

Alright, this is my last re-printing of a news story from the web... FOR TODAY...

The singing protective
By JACQUI THORNTON
Health Editor

A SCIENTIST has come up with a musical condom that gets louder as the sex gets more vigorous.

The singing protective is designed to be a laugh for couples who want to make their own sweet music, says Ukrainian inventor Dr Grigoriy Chausovskiy.

Different lovemaking positions determine what tune is played by the condom, which also works like a normal contraceptive.

The rubber has tiny sensors connected to a mini electronic device that produces the sounds.

“But there is no danger of being electrocuted,” said Dr Chausovskiy, who has teamed up with a manufacturer to export the condoms to Britain.

They will cost about 20 per cent more than normal condoms. “But people will pay for the extra stimulation,” he said.

Get Yourself High

Sure, blame the toads...

Toads turning dogs into junkies
By Suellen Hinde18feb05

DOGS are licking the backs of cane toads to get high from a poison secreted from their glands, a
Northern Territory vet has revealed.And the dogs are becoming addicted to the hallucinogenic cane toad poison - bufo toxin.

Katherine vet Megan Pickering said yesterday she had seen many cases of dogs affected by the deadly toad poison.

"We have had quite a number of cases of dogs that are getting addicted to the toxin," she said.

"There seems to be dogs that are licking the toxin to get high.
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"They lick the toads and only take in a small amount of the poison - they get a smile on their face and look like they are going to wander off into the sunset."

Cane toads have been in Katherine for three wet seasons.

And dogs, being dogs, have discovered that just a little lick of bufo toxin makes a dog's life shine brighter.

Ms Pickering has treated more than 30 dogs suffering from the deadly effects of bufo toxin at her Katherine Vet Care surgery.

She said there was no doubt after experiencing the effects of cane toad bufo toxin there were some bleary-eyed dogs "going back to have a second go".

"It seems some of them have tasted it in small doses but there are others that have had more toxin and come in fully-fitting.

"But (despite this) they go on to do it again and again - they seem to have worked it out."
Ms Pickering said the dogs were not developing a tolerance to the toxin but only ingesting small amounts.

"Larger doses would be fatal," she said.

NT Parks and Wildlife get more inquiries about safeguarding pets from the toad than on any other aspect.

They say the answer is to keep dogs and cats inside at night, warn and train them against tackling toads, and best of all keep toads out of your yard.

Ms Pickering said if a dog was suffering from cane toad poisoning - fitting, running in circles, with bright red gums and/or frothing at the mouth - wash its mouth out with water as quickly as possible.

So, Drew is a racist... as if we didn't already know

I know you've all (aka my brother) been waiting for another post about Wiggles, our handicapped helper. well, now you've got it. But it's not just a light hearted tale of a smiling and wiggley differently-abled chap, it's also startling proof that Drew is, and always has been, unapologetically racist.

So it's Valentine's Day, the day of love (of all days to be racist, huh?) and to our pleasant suprise in walks (or wiggles, really) Wiggles and his sassy black helper who's name I dont remember. Considering that we try and make Matt (wiggles) feel welcome and everything (because he's.. you know, handicapped) we give him a hearty Hello!. Matt does his best to say "haapppy valennttiiness day" to us, and it was just so cute.
All of the sudden, the assistant snaps at drew and goes "thats some kind of greeting!" obviously very aggrivated by something. then goes "what, i didnt walk in the door too? i dont get no hello? damn". i just kind of laughed it off not sure if she was serious.
Then they start putting a few tapes away and she starts going on (all sassy like) about how they want to get outta there early cause they got other stuff to do. im just like 'ok no problem', they dont really have to be there at all. but i guess she didnt get her point across so a few minutes later she repeated that, only this time she goes "we wanna get outta here as soon as possible because i dont like that kids attitude".
seems kinda weird that she would be this upset about Wiggles getting a bigger greeting than her. Really, it seemed pretty selfish to me. But she goes on like "Yea, your friend over there is very rude. I dont like him anymore. He can say Hi to Matt but he doesnt even say anything to me. What kinda shit is that. So rude"
I guess she was really mad so i was just like 'well i'm sorry, i think its only that we dont remember your name so he didnt address you directly'
Drew chimes in trying to depend himself, explaining the simplicity of the situation and the honest mistake he made in the nicest and most polite way that Drew says anythign (which is rare)

and she goes

"yea... well, that don't matter. I think it was disgrimination, and i dont like being discriminated against. Matt, let's go!"

me and drew look at eachother like "WHAT the NUTZ?"

so there you have it. Drew is a notorious racist and was finally called out on it.
Way to go Wiggles' helper.
Fight Injustice where ever you find it!

-jordan

Gayest Tattoo Ever

http://gorillamask.net/gaytattoo.shtml

More Cell Phone Horrors

This is Drew, not Jordan, just to make that perfectly clear before I begin. Okay? We're clear? Crystal? Well, then...

This little desperate housewife just came up to the counter, gabbing away on her cell phone and waving her BMW keys in my face (attached to it, of course, a Fitness Edge card)... Talking the ENTIRE TIME I'm helping her. I said two things to her, in a cold, stern, authoritative voice: "Please type in your pin number" and "Four dollars." That's it. When she got her DVD helpfully retrieved by me she does this (which really pissed me off): she WHISPERS "Thank you." Making it completely obvious that the actual reality of the situation pales in comparison to whether or not her friend Marci is going to get a bikini wax or the full Brazilian.

I've decided next time someone comes up to me on their cell phone, I'm going to to turn to them, then turn back to the computer. "I'm trying to read about how Corey Feldman has just been subpoenaed to testify in the Michael Jackson trial," I'll tell her. "You go ahead and finish up your conversation, and I'll finish up with my good friend E! Online and when we're both done, we can talk."

(This is really what I was doing when she came up, by the way.)

Anyway... Just thought I'd add a volume to the continuing series of frustrated moments in cell phone abuse.

Drew out.

I Still Don't Understand Soccer

Uhhh....

Welsh rugby fan cuts off testicles after win
LONDON (Reuters) - A Welsh rugby fan cut off his own testicles to celebrate Wales beating England at rugby, the Daily Mirror has reported.

Geoff Huish, 26, was so convinced England would win Saturday's match he told fellow drinkers at a social club, "If Wales win I'll cut my balls off", the paper said on Tuesday.

Friends at the club in Caerphilly, south Wales, thought he was joking.
But after the game Huish went home, severed his testicles with a knife, and walked 200 metres back to the bar with the testicles to show the shocked drinkers what he had done.

Huish was taken to hospital where he remained in a seriously ill condition, the paper said. Police told the paper he had a history of mental problems.

Wales's 11-9 victory over England at the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff was their first home win over England in 12 years.

some advice for you aspiring psychics

"Psychic power is realized when mental anguish exceeds physical pain"

wrap your brain around that one.

that quote comes from the box of a movie called Rubber's Lover, which is from the... get this:
Japanese Cyberpunk Collection.

thats just another reason why you should shop at media wave.. because we have movies from the Japanese Cyberpunk Collection about psychic power.

clone wars

so we have this customer who is probably the #1 most hated and most annoying customer of all.. i mean, like the head of all annoying people, he sits on a throne of lies and eats sandwiches of deceit and hubris. um, anyway... he is THE CHEAPEST and most unethical and most agrivating and disrespecting customer we have, and tries to get away with every possible way to get out of late fees, to get free rentals, etc etc. and for all the shit we put up with from him and all the 5 star treatment he gets anyway, he still had the balls to threaten paul that he'd go to blockbuster if we didnt magically get him a dvd that was checked out to someone else already.
the point being, i had never seen this mans wife until yesterday an upon seeing her i realized that she looks EXACTLY like him. like.. they could be brother and sister. she looks like him, talks like him, and acts like him.
is it possible that they have morphed into eachother, or that this guy somehow fused a 'woman' from himself? maybe he has some kind of machine that can produce a likeness of himself in female form so that he could spawn cheap asshole kids and soon form a race of fuckers that will soon take over the world.

i think that is entirely possible. he must be stopped at all costs.
this will be the first Long Term Mission of the our deadly assasination ninja bandit gang. Regulators!

-jordan

lick my butt and suck on my balls

let me start out by saying that me and every other employee hates pre-teen boys. perhaps Robert was fond of them, but he doesn't work here any more. (I know almost none of you out of the 4 people that read this know who Robert is... well he was a 50 year old dude that had a funny gay voice and got fired)

so this is just a quick (sort of) anecdote about an annoying 11 year old kid that game in today..
first of all, the only thing they rent is video games. get cultured dude, at least try renting "I, Robot" AND a video game or something. culture, dude.
anyway, so this dipshit kid comes in with his douchebag friend and bring up a card for the game and just drops it on the counter with no consideration for my feelings, maybe id like him to nicely deliver the card to my hand once in a while, huh?
well, so I look at him and he is lookin all dopey and stupidish and im like
"you have 2 late fees, can you pay for them today?"
he pauses for a minute, looks at me and goes
"uh, what?"
and i sigh and say
"you had napoleon dynamite and an a star wars game a few days late"
he looks at me for another minute, loooking dopey and defiant for no reason, as if he is purposely trying to not understand me because it is somehow cool.
"uh.. what do you mean? huh? uhhh hhuuhh?"
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN "WHAT"? Say "what" again! say "what" one more god damn time! I dare you! I double dare you motherfucker! say "what" one more god damn time! (ok sorry i didnt say that, that was me quoting pulp fiction)
what is wrong with this kid? this is among the simplest concepts to try and wrap your video-game obsessed brain around.
i say: Look... You have 2 late charges. One of them was Napoleon Dynamite, and one was this game. Will you be able to pay for them today.. yes or no?"
he says: "uh.. no"

GRRR

kids, whats wrong with those kids these days!

-jc

A Serious Case of the Giggles

Okay, so I'm sitting at the computer being a lazy piece o' shit and Jordan's trying to describe to me the last episode of "Growing Up Gotti," when the little Mafioso bastards try out their rapping skills. And he starts talking about the younger cousin, who Jordan claims is "hardly ever in the show" and starts doing an impression of his rap, which was something along the lines of: "Yo, motherfucker I'm going to fucking kill you." He does this very loudly. Right as a nice dad and his little son (both white) enter the store. So, I collapse on the floor, giggling. What the world must think of this profane little video store.

Then, immediately after, this alt-country song on William Shatner's album comes up and Jordan starts quoting "Team America" and I die again, only to be revived back to life to tell my tale on the blog. This probably has something to do with the fact that I've had five hours of sleep all weekend and am about to spend the next two days with a teenage boy who curses more than I do and can kick my ass at Xbox. Lord help me.

Drew.

love tonic, now death tonic

I know that NONE of you care, but id like to formally announce that my favorite music venue, TONIC, is probably going out of business due to raised rent, robbery and repairs that desperately need to be done that they cant afford. They claim to need about 100,00 dollars in the next few weeks, and since we all know that you couldnt get that unless you said it was for Bush's election campaign, there is probably no way they are going to stay open.
Tonic is (or was) the best venue for independant 'creative and avant garde' music. there was a period of about 6 months where i went there at least once a week for an amazing show each time. It was pretty much through them that i was about to nuture my love of jewish music and got to experience a lot of my favorite bands there, when i didnt think id ever get to see anythign like it anywhere else.
Medeski Martin and Wood began there, doing brilliant all improvised sets there, and have played there a bunch of times since providing me with some of the best show experiences ever.

Now those good times might be over, and even though I hate a few of the staff members there, i love the venue and id be really sad to see it go.

So heres what all you readers have to do:
Go to tonicnyc.com and donate at least 200 dollars each. several times. do it for me, or for your own piece of mind. i know you want to.

*tear*

if any of you have any interest in getting to know this venue and the music it hosts for the brief time before it closes its doors, let me know and ill be glad to bring you with me.

thank heaven for little girls, and elvis

just a side note... a short post to cure the boredom im sure you've all felt from reading my incredibley long posts before this, hopefully you arent tired of me already...

so we are lucky enough to have in our stores possession the 3-disc special edition set of the ELVIS 1968 comeback special dvd. Sweet ass set. Elvis is awesome and if were going to sleep with a man it would probably be him. but that being entirely besides the point, we were watching it in the store yesterday and groovin and shakin our respective pelvises thinking " no one could possibley be enjoying this any more than i am" when i look down on the floor to see the most adorable little girl in the world dancing her tush off to elvis. I was helping her dad at the time and we both noticed her dancing and laughed, and he asked her
"do you know who that is sweetheart?"
and she says is her tiny cute little girl voice 'elvwis' and then smiles a big smile.
it just melted my heart.
if you will refer back to my post about how i just adore cute little girls (in a non-sexual way, of course), then you'll know how i felt this time around.

it was just precious.

thats all

-jordan

"yall got Open Water on record?"

one of the best worst customers we have is the 50-something professor-of-english-who-smokes-pot lookin mothafucka with long silver hair who comes in with blazers that have patches on the elbows (i do too, so i cant dis that) with a cup of some kind of pretentious coffee (yes, coffee can be pretentious) and makes THE WEIRDEST statements we've ever heard.
He's got some form of a southern accent and doesn't seem to know anything about anything. I know, you've never heard of anyone with a southern accent not knowing much of anything before, but it's true, take my word for it.
I wish i had a picture of him, but since i dont you'll have to use your imagination.
Some classic comments he's made:
Him: So, where would yall have TOP GUN? I looked for it all over yer store and i cant find it.
Me: well, where did you look? it should be in the action adventure section
Him: action adventure? are you serious? I looked for it in comedy and suspense. why would yall put it in action?
Me: have you SEEN Top Gun?
Him: uh.. no

then another one was a much longer and crazier conversation about the (dis)advantages of DVD over VHS.
He came in seriously asking me why anyone would want to watch a movie on DVD.
I went through the standard schtick about how better widescreen is than full screen, and how the sound and picture quality are significantly improved, and it allows faster access to chapters and etc etc.... it doesnt phase him because he is already thinking about why all of that sucks.
He starts saying how because DVD means DIGITAL video disc, that the movie is redone in digital film and looks like a video game. that the 'better picture quality' is actually fake picture and looks like it was done on a computer, and that he doesnt liek good sound. blah blah blah long story short he was unable to comprehend this idea of what DVD is and that it is not redoing movies in digital film formart etc etc.

we had a similar conversation on the way that CDs are much worse than... CASSETTE TAPES. Not vinyl, because i can understand some arguements for the pure sound quality of records over CDs.. but he was argueing for cassettes. SO WEIRD

Then yesterday (yes, we're finally getting to the point) he comes in and goes "Yall got Open Water on record"

.....


ON RECORD???
what time period are you in? no, wait.. what time period ever had movies on RECORD?
He follows by saying "er... on cd, you got it on cd then?"
so drew cleverly (and somehow without insulting him) "yes, we have it on vinyl in the new release suspense section"
we both chuckle.

Then he comes up and goes "you seen Friday Nights Lights?"
we both answer no.
then, after knowing that we both havent seen it (but maybe not actually listening to us say it) he asks us who plays the football coaches wife?
i say "i have no idea, why do you ask?"
he says "well, isnt she pretty much the most important, or second most important character in the movie?"
i say: "the wife? you think the coaches wife is the second most important character in a movie about a high school football team?"
and he says "well, yea, i mean.. in all my experiences seeing any sports movie its always been the wife that has had the biggest and most important role"

and i just kind of let him trail off hoping that i wont have to continue this inane conversation.
Where in the nutting hell does he get this from? he speaks as if he was abducted by aliens and the fucked with his brain and now its all scrambled and backwards. and he walks around life thinking that he is really smart and cool too, i just know it.
I would love to challenge him to tell me ONE sports movie where the coaches wife gets more than 15 minutes of screen time, let alone plays the second most important role.
i might have to challenge him to a duel.
a blazer with elbow patches duel.
it will be fucking balls out awesome, cause id love to beat his ass.

in fact when you bring up his account someone else wrote a note saying "i would love to kick this guys ass someday".
so true.

You really have to imagine a guy who walks in like he owns the store and knows everything aobut life, give him an annoying and somehow elitist southern accent, and is like the most annoying looking person ever and as just drew just added he parks his big SUV in the 'compact car' space outside. then you'll have some idea of what im talking about.

anyway thats my post about him (for now)
you better have read all of it.

-jordan

shit god damn! (get off your ass and jam)

since i havent blogged in a while i started making a list of potential blog subjects...
i think thats pretty funny that i did that.
hopefully the same amount of attention is paid to this blog as i put into it.

by the way, drew is dancing behind me to some techno remix and its making me sexually uncomfortable.
"dont mind me, im just gonna dance" says drew.

anyway this post is actually about the sweet way paul has of handling things. Paul, if you are reading this dont get mad or anything, i think even you will step back and think 'hmm, thats funny i guess'.
so i come into work yesterday to find 0 parking spots in our lot and i think to myself "wow there much be a ton of customers in there". when i get in there is 1 customer so im like "yo paul what the hell is up with the whole parking lot being filled up and none of them being our customers?" and he says that its all people parking at the dance center right behind our store. Now, you have to understand that we've had a long-running feud with these dance center fucks about them always stealing our parking or blocking our driveway so they can sit in their huge SUVs and wait in our small parking lot drive thru for their kids to come out of the dance center. I guess you have to know the geography to see how bad it is, but it is a problem.
anyway, i say to paul "well tell them to get the fuck outta there!" jokingly
and all of the sudden paul gets pissed of at me and is like "WHOOA man, whoa! cut it out!" and im dumbfounded thinking he has changed sides and is ok with our entire parking lot being wasted by assholes (this time its asshole who arent our customers) and he is just like "i dont need that language ok?" and i look around and say 'whats the deal? theres no one here who cares if i swear once between friends?' and he says 'well maybe i dont want that kind of language, huh?'

ok fine whatever..
30 minutes later we start having computer problems and while there are customers with children waiting to be helped paul is on the ground trying to fix the computer, gets frustrated and yells "SHIT! GOD DAMNIT! AHH!"

whoa, man! i dont need THAT kind of language, and i certainly know moms dont want to hear it and they sure dont want their kids to.

anyway, i just thought it was funny.
i hope i dont get in trouble now.

maybe the closest time i came to punching a woman (since the last time i punched a woman)

*warning this post got a little out of hand and is pretty long.. i cant say if its worth it or not because i pretty much think everything i do and say is worth spending your time reading about, but im biased. if you really like me you'll read on*

Ok so i dont know how many of you read my disgruntled post about how much i hate people who put their cell phones before people around them... if you did you will appreciate the following that much more, but if you didnt thats ok too. here is the gist of that previous post: If you come to the register talking on the cell phone im going to shove it up your ass you rude fuck.
and now the follow up:

this woman who i cant decide if she is nice or sarcastic and bitchy came up to the register yesterday, cell phone free and ready to participate equally in our transaction process. Im never sure if i should automatically dislike her because im pretty sure i remember her saying she cant rent movies with Russell Crowe in them because her husband is a staunch conservative and hates anyone who speaks their mind against Bush. Maybe Russell doesnt even do that, maybe it was George Clooney or something.. who cares. the point is if her husband is a close minded idiot, so is she.
either way, i have no real problem with her until 3/4's of the way into the checking out process, when we've already gone over what "additional day charges" she has, and her free 12th rental, and waited for her to get candy, and for her kids to bring up their video games, and everything else that we go through when people come up to the register.. the money is calculated and im about to tell her how much she owes and she is about to finally get out of the store (just in time cause there is a small line building behind her) and her fucking CELL PHONE rings and she says to me "excuse me for a minute"

sure you coudl be saying to yourself, "well at least she's polite and said excuse me. whats the big deal?"
well, ill tell you.
She is at the register, knowing full well that she is wasting my time and that i am trying to help her and she not only answers her unimportant phone call, but stands there on the phone for a good 2-4 minutes right in front of me, listening to this long story her stupid friend is telling her on the other end of the phone.

Now, its not like i could have made good on my last cellphone blog promise of ignoring her, or taking a call or making a call on my cell phone, or just going to help someone else because we just had one simple step left to complete the transaction.

so there i am getting frustrated out of my mind, giving her evil EVIL eyes the whole time, trying to break into her conversation to just tell her how much money she owed, but there were no oppertunities. i noticed she was holdilng a $20, so i tried my best to just snatch it out of her hand and give her the change... but it was quite difficult. when she realized what i was doing she finally turned up from her phone and said 'what, how much is it?' and then disagreed with how much she owed so she told her friend on the other line "SORRY, I'm at the video store" but continues her conversation while trying to talk to me!
not only should she have been apologizing to me, but she should have at least given me her attention for the 5 seconds it took to finish everything.

AHHHH!!!!!!

so i never told her when her movies were due back, that'll show her!
git 'er done!!

I HATE CELL PHONES!!

-jordan

It’s Fucking February, Please Take Down Your Christmas Decorations Already

Fairfield, Connecticut seems to be the epicenter of lazy-ass Christians, as more than a dozen houses I passed tonight still have their Christmas decorations up. And I’m not talking a few lights here or there, because god knows I love Christmas lights (they remind me of Disney World and poorly-decorated college dorm rooms, mine included)… I’m talking about wreaths, garland and (swear to god) illuminated lawn ornament reindeer. Now, if you can’t find time in your busy schedule to take down the light-up Rudolph from y our front lawn, there needs to be some prioritizing done. And if you do leave all this tacky shit up, why keep on turning it on? Do you want people to know that you are incredibly lazy or do you think that these people will forgive you because you’ve still got “the Christmas spirit?” Or do your decorations reinforce your allegiance to the right-wing Christian Coalition? Does your ten foot tall blow-up Santa Claus adamantly proclaim your opposition to gay marriage? It’s enough to make you wonder if that snowman is a symbol of your lasting holiday cheer or rather a radical pro-life statement condemning the evils of abortion. Or maybe these people want to leave up their decorations in the hopes that it will bleed into the next holiday. Jingle bells are good for Christmas, but they really shine on Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Or, how about leaving things up until Easter, that way you get a holiday A&E Biography of Jesus Christ, celebrating both his Birth and Resurrection in one swoop. Oh, whatever. It just really pisses me off. As my title states: IT’S FUCKING FEBRUARY. GET OVER IT.

I Might Have Parkinson’s

I’m in the process of dealing with a serious medical condition. Or, at least, it could be deemed a serious medical condition if I got anyone to look at it, which I haven’t. Not yet. Anyway, I have this tremor in my right pinky finger, it’s sort of an involuntary twitch; a yip. There could be a number of causes for my spastically moving digit: my high intake of caffeine, my stressful schedule, or the fact that I type on the computer like an English woman drinks tea: with my right pinky lifted above the keyboard, hardly ever in use. When I told Kina about this problem, she looked at me and goes: “Maybe you have Parkinson’s.” Good ole loving Kina.

It’s really annoying more than anything, like when I’m sitting in my mind-numbing Philosophy & Religion class. My hand will just be sitting on my desk, in perfect stillness, but my pinky is jumping around. Hopefully none of my classmates have noticed, or they’ll start calling me things like “Yippy the Dog-Faced Twitcher,” or “Ugly.” It’s like my pinky has a life of its own, and one day I fear that it will detach from my hand and carry on without me, possibly seeing a movie or grabbing a bite to eat.

Maybe one day soon I’ll get it checked out. I’ll let you know what happens. Stay tuned for further developments…

Daft Punk is playing at my house, at my house…

Drew.