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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Sunday, February 06, 2005

lick my butt and suck on my balls

let me start out by saying that me and every other employee hates pre-teen boys. perhaps Robert was fond of them, but he doesn't work here any more. (I know almost none of you out of the 4 people that read this know who Robert is... well he was a 50 year old dude that had a funny gay voice and got fired)

so this is just a quick (sort of) anecdote about an annoying 11 year old kid that game in today..
first of all, the only thing they rent is video games. get cultured dude, at least try renting "I, Robot" AND a video game or something. culture, dude.
anyway, so this dipshit kid comes in with his douchebag friend and bring up a card for the game and just drops it on the counter with no consideration for my feelings, maybe id like him to nicely deliver the card to my hand once in a while, huh?
well, so I look at him and he is lookin all dopey and stupidish and im like
"you have 2 late fees, can you pay for them today?"
he pauses for a minute, looks at me and goes
"uh, what?"
and i sigh and say
"you had napoleon dynamite and an a star wars game a few days late"
he looks at me for another minute, loooking dopey and defiant for no reason, as if he is purposely trying to not understand me because it is somehow cool.
"uh.. what do you mean? huh? uhhh hhuuhh?"
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN "WHAT"? Say "what" again! say "what" one more god damn time! I dare you! I double dare you motherfucker! say "what" one more god damn time! (ok sorry i didnt say that, that was me quoting pulp fiction)
what is wrong with this kid? this is among the simplest concepts to try and wrap your video-game obsessed brain around.
i say: Look... You have 2 late charges. One of them was Napoleon Dynamite, and one was this game. Will you be able to pay for them today.. yes or no?"
he says: "uh.. no"

GRRR

kids, whats wrong with those kids these days!

-jc

4 Comments:

  • At 12:32 PM, Blogger 4head said…

    haha...so many things to comment on, first off nice Jordan, second, ROBERT GOT FIRED ha Mr. thin annoying mustache with the gay voice who always sounded irritated RIGHT?! why’d he get fired...and "I Robot"=culture...AAAhhahah, I can picture all of this vividly too, especially the sigh...and lastly, who the fuck cares about Media Waves Clerks, I pretty sure they’re devoid of all feelings, well they might have them, but who the fuck cares. Sounds like you should work at a Quick-stop DANTE!

     
  • At 1:35 PM, Blogger Jordan, and ya don't stop said…

    interesting you compare us to the clerks from the movie CLERKS because Paul seems to be looking for a 'part time' person to do bullshit jobs on weekends, and he put up a sign with the picture of Randall and Dante from CLERKS in the poster that he taped up to the register.

     
  • At 4:06 AM, Blogger 4head said…

    A job you say, very interesting...hmm. How much would I get paid, and whom would be working with me, and what are the hours?...

     
  • At 5:51 PM, Blogger Jordan, and ya don't stop said…

    the actual job isnt servicing customers at all, its servicing employees. you are paid 3 dollars an hour to be behind the counter sexually pleasuring us while we help customers. its not a gay thing, its just necessary for us to be able to handle the frustrations of the job.

     

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