It’s Fucking February, Please Take Down Your Christmas Decorations Already

Fairfield, Connecticut seems to be the epicenter of lazy-ass Christians, as more than a dozen houses I passed tonight still have their Christmas decorations up. And I’m not talking a few lights here or there, because god knows I love Christmas lights (they remind me of Disney World and poorly-decorated college dorm rooms, mine included)… I’m talking about wreaths, garland and (swear to god) illuminated lawn ornament reindeer. Now, if you can’t find time in your busy schedule to take down the light-up Rudolph from y our front lawn, there needs to be some prioritizing done. And if you do leave all this tacky shit up, why keep on turning it on? Do you want people to know that you are incredibly lazy or do you think that these people will forgive you because you’ve still got “the Christmas spirit?” Or do your decorations reinforce your allegiance to the right-wing Christian Coalition? Does your ten foot tall blow-up Santa Claus adamantly proclaim your opposition to gay marriage? It’s enough to make you wonder if that snowman is a symbol of your lasting holiday cheer or rather a radical pro-life statement condemning the evils of abortion. Or maybe these people want to leave up their decorations in the hopes that it will bleed into the next holiday. Jingle bells are good for Christmas, but they really shine on Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Or, how about leaving things up until Easter, that way you get a holiday A&E Biography of Jesus Christ, celebrating both his Birth and Resurrection in one swoop. Oh, whatever. It just really pisses me off. As my title states: IT’S FUCKING FEBRUARY. GET OVER IT.