The Showcase of Depravity: The Letter

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

The Letter

For the last year Media Wave has been getting annonymous letters from a strange mystery customer with long lists of DVD's that Ghost Writer feels our store needs. It is written in almost an accusatory attitude, like accusing us of not having them and neglecting to pick them up. The lists seem to be identical each time, but the strange thing about this is that the whole list consists of movies that NO ONE has because they are out of print or were never put on DVD, and DVD's that we already have (some of which are not at all uncommon, like 28 Days Later.) Obviously this Ghost Writer isn't a regular customer.
As strange as all that is, here's the kicker:

The letters are written in a sort of caligropghy or elizabethan style font, and the mysterious author inconsistantly attempts to speak in old english. It isn't always written like that, but even just once is good enough for me.

So this week we got another letter, but this time it had a return address on it:

Buckingham Palace
United Kingdom

and this time it was signed(you guessed it):

Her Majesty, The Queen of England

H O L Y SHIT!

How amazing is that? Contrary to The Queen's claim, this letter actually has a post mark stamp on it from Stamford, CT. ouch. We made an attempt to figure out who it might be, but we decided that it would take too much work and is probably impossible anyway.
I'm guessing they are from a 30-40 something overweight computer systems analyst who is also the webmaster for his Battlestar Gallactica fan site. Showcase Of Depravity's sketch artists came up an image of what he might look like, here: