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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Sunday, May 08, 2005

Most annoying customer of the day/year/CENTURY!

So we've probably mentioned the #1 most annoying customer of the century on here before, and I have no qualms in calling him by name: Allen Levy. He's either a lawyer or a dentist or something really annoying...
anyway, i'm not going to get into all the stories we have about him, i'm just going to focus on why he got #1 annoying customer of the day award today.

So he's been suprisingly and refreshingly less annoying than he usually is, which is a huge improvement. Then, after using a coupon (he never goes one day without taking advantage of any and all oppertunities to get something for free), he then takes our long strip of coupons (about 1 3rd of a whole piece of notebook paper, to put it in persepctive) and combines it with several other coupons from other stores, and then rips them all up into shreds and leaves it on the counter in a big messy pile in front of me.

"uh, yea, can you throw that out?" he says as i'm staring at him, giving him the "there's no way you don't know that is rude, or maybe you were actually raised by animals" look.

and thats the end of the story. I hate him, he's so nutting annoying!!!! anyone else it would have been slightly less rude, but he also made the pile like, spread out across the counter space, it wasn't even a neat compacted pile. Bastard!

-Jordan

2 Comments:

  • At 11:46 PM, Blogger MoiraMcTaggart said…

    Seeing as the topic of my epic-ness in terms of 'comments' was addressed less than 24 hours ago at the Green Room, I won't bother prefacing this comment with any assortment of excessive apologies regarding the length of my following comment: You wanna talk most annoying customers/jobs of all time? Let's hope that the proximity of our respective places of employment (my restaurant being a block and a few exuberant, foppish skips away from your film rental mecca) will not necessarily mean that y'all will one day have to deal with the assorted customers from hell that I myself have to deal with. Do you know that two years ago the New York Times wrote a short piece on how the week after mother's day seems to routinely see a statistical spike in suicides amongst the restaurant working community? Yeah. That was my day... In addition to having notions of commiting suicide, I had a customer from long island threaten to have me fired because I did not notice her stomping left foot and furious, yet botoxed and motionless brow for 10 whole minutes
    (while she stood unannounced, 20 feet from me, fuming silently behind a throng of at least another foot stomping 30+ customers in a room that fits 10 comfortablyy)and further more, because I did not miraculously have a table for her excessively niped and tucked and still rather haggard ass-fifteen minutes BEFORE her reservation was even due- AND I had a coked out waitress threaten to burn me with a cigarette if I didn't ''hustle a creme brulee over to table twelve like YESTERDAY''... I then had to drive said waitress home because she can't drive due to her DWI... I made zero tips and got a total of NO oral sex or painkillers for the aforementioned grievances... That said, I hear that Bill Murray is the 'comic genius of our time' or some shit? and the Life Acquatic is coming out on Tuesday... I am somewhat looking forward to this. And to tie it all into your above mentioned customer gripes??... I have seen the crasi-ass folk that you all have to contend with... I have seen your co-workers, and while I may deal with some insanely melodramatic rich customers and and a bunch of deluded, illegal alien and/or drug addled co-workers/bosses... At least I don't have to ever feel dirty while swiping the credit card of a regular customer who is an adult film enthusiast... wait... I only hang out in 'new releases'... correct me if I'm wrong but you DO have an 'adult' section, don't you? please say yes. Here's to growing up gotti hair cuts and getting a perfectly airbrushed tan before heading to the gym to pump iron... xoxo- me!

     
  • At 1:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Allen Levy is either a psychologist or psychiatrist. I am not sure which, but i am positive he is on of those

     

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