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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Classic Films of the Urban Variety... Vol. 1

Every week among our large number of DVDs we get into our growing catalog come low budget, low grade "Urban" genre films. Low budget or not, these movies are great in their own way, and the following box art will show you just how great. Keep in mind these are all actual movies that exist in reality, and that Media Wave has for rental.

First in this feature just HAD to be:

I Accidently Domed Your Son
"It started as an innocent party, but ended as a deadly trip"
we have this filed in Comedy. It's actual genre is unconfirmed.

This is the BEST title for a movie EVER. My favorite part is the license plate that says "KILLA" which would imply that perhaps this "doming" was no "accident."

There is some confusion here, not just on the intentions behind the doming, but also on the interpretation of the verb "dome." I've heard it used to mean either "to perform fellatio" and "to shoot in the head," and I'm pretty sure that the title could go either way and would probably change the movie only slightly. And either way, the question here is, can you ever really dome anyone accidentally?

On, the only summary written for this movie is by Ryan Combs, who I discovered is actually the writer/director and one of the leading actors in the movie. But let us not forget that when Leaves of Grass was published, Walt Whitman too had to write his own favorable reviews on the internet.

And what I assume you shall assume;
I accidentally domed your son "

Next Up:

Party Animalz
"sex, booze... and a burro?"
I guess burro means donkey... otherwise a donkey being in a pool would just make absolutely no sense at all!

"They put the 'panic' in 'hispanic!'".

That is what it says on the back of the DVD box. I couldn't think of anything better.
While "Domed" is the best title ever, this is definately the best box art EVER. I mean, look at it. It could have just stayed with using the first picture of a wacky bald fat mexican in the pool with a bunch of big-bottom hunnies and that would have been funny enough. Or they could have just used the picture of the main characters, who are all wildly hilarious in their own urban way, by the pool with a random donkey in the middle (you have to wonder about that.. is the donkey wearing a swimsuit? Does it need floaties?) and that would have been even better!
But no, they went all out, they drove it all the way home by using BOTH pictures on the cover thereby making this movie irresistable to all who lay eyes on its urban-comedy genre glory. Mexican party movie and donkey lovers alike will love this.
This wonderful slice of cinema recieved an humble rating of 2 stars on IMDB, but in the comments section JOE COCAINE has this to say:


Need I say more?

Out On Parole
"Prison Was Crazy, But Parole Was A Riot!"
Like all books, everything you need to judge this by is on the cover.
 They run the whole gauntlet of developed characters: We've got the mack daddy pimp with a lot of bling and a 4-finger ring that actually says "Magic" on it (amazing... *hint hint* birthday gift for me, people. The pimp, not the ring. But I'll settle for the ring) and a rainbow colored suit (gaaay?) on one side, and a mack daddy playa in the sporty designer workout suit on the other side.
Behind him is the rough cop ready to blast any sucka's ass, cuz she's one tough biotch.
Behind her is obviously the best character in the movie: the half-naked guy with a big belly and a HUGE afro, who I think is the same actor who played the crack-head in Friday, and presumably a lot of other movies.
On the other side the rest of the looney cast of urban stereotypes, including, "the girl."
Then, the coup de grace, the piece de resistance, the background image: a bunch of pimped-out cadilacs. Whoever designed this cover art should be commended, the composition is brilliant. If the cover is this crazy, imagine how hilarious the movie isn't!

Sweet Potato Pie
"The First Slice Is Always The Sweetest"

Already we see that it also has all the classic urban stereotypes, including "the girl," and "the three guys."

Another cover here with ingenius compositional qualities with the main characters IN a pie itself. Not to mention the "Sweet Pie" herself, holding, with all the subtlety of Larry Flynt, a real sweet potato pie next to her own "sweet POTATO pie" (here we use the word "potato" to mean "vagina").

So the plot is classic but still fresh: 3 guys trying to get laid. Yes, it's been done before, but the question the producers had to ask themselves about this was "but has it been done URBAN-STYLE?" the answer is probably a whole lot, so their answer is Sweet Potato Pie. Correct answer!

There are some good name actors in this gem: Marc 7, Saafir, and of course Mr. Short Khop (a legend in his own way). Also includes Kizzy Amos, Minnie Foxx (porn star?), Grapevine (we heard it through him), and Trina (who you all know from "Trick Daddy: Uncut").

The best thing about these covers is facial expressions, which reveal immediately whether that character will be all like "SAY WHAAT?" or all like "OH NO HE DIDN'T!" or like "EXCUSE ME?". And that's the kind of thing you need to know about a movie before you rent it.

Hope you enjoyed Volume 1 of this ongoing series. The next form of this will be in Classic Films of the Adult Variety, which promises to be quite adult but without much variety.



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