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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Verizon is the bane of my eXistenZ

So, this may not be Media Wave related material, but I just had a conversation with a Verizon Customer Service Representative that I felt I just had to share:
I was asking her why, if Verizon can track Text Messages to anyone on certain plans, they cant track text message to non-Verizon customers on MY plan....

Customer Service Rep: They are working on it.
Me: Hmm.. right, welll honestly that's what they said last time I called to ask why they had NO concievable way of tracking my text messages at all in any way (making it extremely easy for me to go over my plan and get changed a million dollars), even though they could track phone calls. Now all of the sudden your technicians had a mysterious intellectual break-through and they discovered the way to track Text messages, but now they can't do it for non-verizon text messages on my specific plan? Why do you offer a service with no way of protecting yourself from overage fees??
CSR: Take my word for it, they are way ahead of their time with this technology! They are doing things we didn't even think were possible!
Me: except, of course, being able to track seperate groups of text messages so that i don't get huge overage charges...
CSR: Well, yea... but they are working on it. They can't do it yet...
Me: mmhmm... right, well that doesn't do any one any good now does it?
CSR: They are working on it...
Me: Are they? Because I'd swear that they already have that technology, they just find it easier to charge me when I go over my alotted text messages instead of helping me stay within my plan.
CSR: Sir, that kind of technology can only be harnessed by space aliens right now. If our technicians had the power to track your non-verizon customer text messages, this world as a whole would be free of terrorism, and we'd have already offered the Verizon Hovercraft 4000. You're living in a science fiction novel, sir! It's only 2005, not 2772 (where the new Looney Tunes are!) But, they are working on it...

thank you for nothing, Verizon. I KNOW YOU HAVE THAT DAMN TECHNOLOGY! Let it out of the bag, for God's Sake!
Trying to talk to customer service about ethical issues or the stupidity of their company is like trying to ask my Russian music teacher a question... they have no insightful or helpful answers, they just ignore you and restate their answer in slightly different words because they don't understand you and can't use any other words in english. Only with Verizon sometimes it's with an indian accent (damn outsourcing)
If you want to comment back with your own personal stories about Cell Phone Companies or other Customer Service stories, feel free... I know they get much worse than this.

By the way, that last part of the conversation was only paraphrased...



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