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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Monday, May 09, 2005

Random Things I Found Funny This Week.... part one

kid lying on floor:

*Picture Not Avaiable.. check back soon, sorry!*

customer: Can I have the first Star Wars?
me: you want it for rental?
customer: Yea, if that's what the first Star Wars is called...
me: No, DO YOU WANT IT FOR RENTAL, as opposed to for sale?
customer: whatever
__________________________
Paul quote:
"we have 1, so add 1 and that leaves us with 2"
__________________________
Paul quote:
said (unknowingly) in front of a customer and child:
"screaming handicapped kids should be put down immediately!"

*Paul Disclaimer* I am simply an observer and recorder, the quotes here are not incriminating or malicious in nature, do not take them the wrong way.
__________________________
the best movie we got in stock last week:
Bad Trip


Coolio stars as Tryonne, Jerome and Cherone.
Now, as devoted Coolio fans, we all know that having Coolio in a movie is enough to make it really awesome, but having him play 3 characters in this Sellars-esque way, well... what more can you want out of a movie? And on top of that it has that huge guy from... all those teen movies, and that other annoying guy from all those..uh.. other teen movies. Maybe they were both in Van Wilder or something, i dont know.
Rent it today!
__________________________

I'm playing the band XTC on the stereo and this woman says "sounds like XTC",
i say "you're exactly right"
her: my husbands favorite singer!
me: oh really? yea he's great
her: kind of a joke really
me: uuhh....

why do people feel the need to ask what music we are playing just so they can then insult it? there must be at least 15 times when a customer has made fun of the music we are listening to, but does it as if we weren't the ones who chose to put it on! we could be singing along to a song and a customer could come up and see us doing that and then ask "hey whats on the stereo", and we'd say "it's XTC" and they'd say "cause it's making me want to kill myself" or "it's really bad, isn't it?".
actual stories like that to follow in their own post...

_________________________________________
"hey look "Space Balls".. hahah, i love that movie, IT'S SO DUMB THAT IT'S FUNNY"
i fucking HATE when people (especially stupid kids)say the words "it's so dumb that it's funny". Is it funny or is it dumb? Spaceballs is funny because its a f-ing funny movie, not because its so dumb you look at it and just have to laugh. It's really that it is smart, and that's why you're laughing. Some people even say that about the Simpsons. I really hate that. It makes no sense. In fact you might say, people who say that are sooo dumb that they're funny! (and that's why i'm writing about it.. cause it's funny) Now that works!



-Jordan, Space saver

4 Comments:

  • At 9:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Someone should do a Mash-up of Coolio's "Fantastic Voyage" and XTC's "Dear God"

    Then everyone would be happy.

     
  • At 9:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I prefer the people who say "I'm so dumb that its funny." These people go to movies like Boat Trip and rent movies like Bad Trip.

    There is also those who say "I'm so dumb that it isn't funny." Drew falls into that categrory. He is a humorless SOB.

     
  • At 4:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Head's up everyone - the fat kid in the Coolio movie is from Boy Meets World.

     
  • At 9:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    The fat kid?! That's me!

    On the set of American History X, Ed Furlong used to call me "Boy Eats World."

    Keep up the good work guys, I'm your biggest fan, biggest, get it!?

     

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