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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Monday, May 16, 2005

Kina Gets Pissed Off. Literally.

Okay, so yes - Media Wave has some pretty annoying customers and employees, but what happened to me while working at the restaurant the other day put me into such a foul mood for hours afterward that porno-seeking customers pale in comparison.

What you first have to understand is that I don't like breakfast. Unless its doughnuts, which I'm trying to give up. Therefore, I usually don't eat breakfast which is normally no great problem. But I can't eat my lunch either until there is nobody in the store and after about 3:00. Most days, I'm fine between 10:30 and 3 and can quickly eat something right at 3, but some days people just keep coming in and I have to be pleasant while really wanting to cry/ lock them out/ punch them because I'm so hungry. Last Thursday was one of those kinds of days. I was absolutely starving and couldn't wait until I could eat. In fact, I had already picked out what I was going to eat and was super excited about it. The store had slowed down and my boss gave the word that it was lunch time so I gave mi amigo, Hector my order and decided that to fully enjoy my lunch I first needed to pee. This was my first mistake.

I walked into the bathroom and peered down into the toilet. The seat was absolutely covered with urine as was the bowl which still contained the toilet paper and whatever pee hadn't been sprayed onto the seat. The most disgusting and disturbing thing about this was that a.) We had no children eat at the store that day. So that means that an adult person was the culprit and b.) Whoever did this had not had any water in about three years. This was the darkest pee I had ever seen. It was glowing.

So here I am, staring at this nasty scene and all I can think is, "Please, don't throw up. I'm so hungry. Don't lose your appetite, come on you can do it!" So I mentally cuss out whoever has ruined my lunch and then hunt down the Windex because there was too much of it to just wipe up. Gag. There have been numerous times where I've had to wipe down a toilet seat at home because my brothers are lazy asses who can't shoot straight, but those are my brothers, and for some reason while it's still disgusting it's nothing compared to the disgust I experienced that day cleaning up some strange adult man's urine. I'm a waitress for god's sake, I have to wash my hands every five minutes and here I am bent over this pee like a nurse in an old folk's home.

Luckily I was able to gag down a couple of sopitas after I washed my hands with hot water and half the soap in the store. But for the rest of the day, I was just pissed (no pun intended). I just couldn't imagine that there are nasty people like that out there who think it's part of my job description to clean up after them at the table and then follow them to the bathroom to clean up their neon orange pee. It's still pissing me off right now. I can't think about it anymore but remember everyone - 8 glasses of water a day.

Kina

3 Comments:

  • At 6:03 PM, Blogger Cliff Brenford said…

    Kina-

    You have to remember...no one assumes it's the waitresses job to clean that, they assume it's the mexican people who do the janitorial work.
    Don't take it personally...you just got caught in a pickle.

    So...yes...it's gross. But you probably liked it more than you let on.

     
  • At 9:42 PM, Anonymous Kina said…

    The most ridiculous thing about me telling this story to everyone is that about five people have actually asked me why the "Mexicans" didn't clean it up. That is a horrible thing to ask. Shame on all of you - the "Mexicans" probably make more money than I do!

     
  • At 2:36 PM, Blogger Jordan, and ya don't stop said…

    I like to think of "The Mexicans" (aka Vatos Locos aka Gueros Locos aka the Kitchen Staff) as sort of like "house elves" in the Harry Potter books. I don't know how they do it, I don't know why they do it, but them seem to enjoy it and when I leave a garbage bag full of old Coke cans in the back, I can surely bet that bag will come back empty, and smelling fresh.

     

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