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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Special Christmas Cards: Having a Media Wave like you....

As I'm sure you're all aware, it is the Christmas season, or oops, rather the HOEliday season as we here at The Wave like to call it to be politically correct. During this time of year we get a break from the constant barrage of formally written customer complaints, hate mail and bizarre demands lists from obsessive movie nerd stalkers pretending to be celebrities (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Parts 4, 5 &, you really need to read these please!!) and instead we get to read a few holly jolly holiday cards to warm out hearts and make us feel that if we touch at least one person, no matter their brain capacity or age, we've made a difference.

So here is my favorite christmas card ever because it is particularly special:
It looks fairly normal....

wait a minute! What's that say at the top there? DAD? I told that bitch it wasn't mine! Let's look closer...

OOH! They scratched out Dad and put "Media Wave", that makes sense...
Let's take a look inside, maybe at least the inside will apply to us..
Looks pretty good...

Oh, no... not quite:

This truly is the saddest, most pathetic attempt at a holiday gesture I've ever seen. "Having a Dad (MEDIA WAVE) like you", it doesn't even work like a sentence. The card was signed "Love Us", written in handing that looked like it was either intentially weird (like this: l 0 Ve U s) or was sent from someone who is actually retarded. I originally thought it was from one of our (many) cranially-challenged customers because there is one sweet one in particular who would send us something like this... But even that girl has her family members to tell her "no, it's considered impolite and weird to buy a card for someone that doesn't apply to them at all and then scratch their name in". Everyone else at the store seems to think it's just some freak.

If the sender is not a retarded person, then it's a pretty clever joke. It's the same joke I unintentionally pulled on my grandma when I was 5. It's like, when it's the holidays and everyone's rushing to get a card, and the stores are crowded, and you're 5, you just want to get anything and get the hell out. She didn't quite appreciate the humor that I didn't know I was using at the time, but life goes on... Except that she died shortly after that. Sorry, Grandma.

To finish off this quick HOEliday cheer post, I thought I'd throw in a dash of Media Wave-style Christmas store decorations to add to the patheticness of this entire thing. Apparently, this is the best we could come up with for Christmas decoration:

A santa hat lazily pinned up above a Harry Potter poster, totally out of its element. Well done, boys.

Anyway, more holiday posts on their way, as well as many posts that I didn't finish that are finally being done thanks to my new state of not-being-in-schoolness. Also look foward to our massive epic Media Wave's Best of 2005 year end post. It's going to be hall-deckingly brilliant!



  • At 10:39 PM, Anonymous Michelle said…

    So... can I have dibs on that Harry Potter poster? Pleeeeeeze??

  • At 3:30 PM, Anonymous Emily said…

    I was gonna ask the same thing!!! :)


    (Happy, Drew? I commented!)

    P.S. The word verification words are super crazy! "wadbma" was mine!


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