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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Friday, December 09, 2005

The Anagram of Snowstorm is Customers

So it’s a little after ten-thirty and I just had my first customer. Now, you might not think this is such a big deal, unless you take into account the deathly, unplowed roads outside and the fact that it’s negative chilly outside.

He’s this nerd-o guy I’ve never seen before and what does he choose to rent? Yup, that old chestnut, “Office Space.” And I KNEW IT. The second he walked in I had him begged for a “Big Lebowski”/”Office Space”/episodes of “Family Guy”-type fellow. He proved me right.

This was preceded and followed by about a thousand annoying phone calls, thusly making it impossible to do any real work, like returns or blogs.

But the real point of the story is this: if you don’t have to go outside during a snowstorm, then don’t. Start a fire (preferably in the fireplace, but your sister’s room will do), thrown on the extended editions of “Lord of the Rings” and laze your day away. Stop intermittently for food, bathroom breaks, and to look outside, chuckle to yourself about how you’re not the sorry sonofabitch that has to work at the goddamn video store, then fall back asleep. If possible, try to fuck something. It helps you stay warm and reminds you what human contact is like. Sexy human contact, that is. And no, I don’t care if it’s your mother.

Looking forward to a long-ass day, where the bitterness inside will rival the bitterness outside. (Especially since Kevin is coming in.)

A picture taken just outside (right before the person seen was eaten alive by a polar bear):



Stay warm-ish.

Drew.

3 Comments:

  • At 1:01 PM, Anonymous Jordan said…

    #1 problem in America: BEARS. even the polar kind.
    #2 problem in America: stupid people.

    nothing about this will matter in a few hours when our magical UPS shipment arrives withh not just the next batch of neglected Ridiculous DVD picks of the week, but of THE SIMPSONS SEASON 7 and SIN CITY DIRECTORS CUT BOX SET!
    YEA BABY!!!

     
  • At 8:22 PM, Blogger BloomingtonGirl said…

    The only video store worth my visit in a snowstorm would be MediaWave and ONLY if you guys were working.

    Can you please move to Bloomington and start up a store?

    Missing you,
    Mrs. Robinson

     
  • At 4:23 PM, Anonymous Jordan said…

    i cant tell you how many times we've both said to eachother "oh, if only we could live in BLoomington"

    -Jordan

     

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