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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Saturday, March 11, 2006

Where Lazy meets Stupid and they have a big party

Here's an example of not only how LAZY people are, but also how STUPID (a dangerous, but profitable combination):

Someone returned a late DVD in our outside drop slot and put CASH in the DVD case, presumably to pay for the late fee (but you know what they when you ass-u-me, right? So we don't) .

This is a stupid idea for a whole host of obvious reasons, the most obvious being that the Media Wave employees are both severely underpaid and immoral by nature and would take that money without thinking twice, leaving the customer with no proof of ever having paid. We are very much like mail men in that regard, among others ("going postal" might soon change to "pulling a Media Wave"), which is why there is a well known suggestion by the Postal Service to NOT send cash through the mail... The U.S. Postal Service has a similar warning.

But even on the off chance that Paul, our moral shepard, collected this particular return (Here's where the STUPID part conflicts so much with the LAZY), these people included 2 dollars more than was necessary for their late fee!

If you are that negligent with your money you deserve to lose it. You know what they say: A dumb yuppie fuck and his unearned gold are easily departed through no fault of their own oblivious stupidity. It's an old proverb, or so I'm told.

You might be asking yourself, "So what did they do with the cash!?!". Good question. Since blow jobs run at least 5 dollars on any given back alley in Fairfield, and lunch costs at least 6, I decided against my better judgement to add it as credit to their account. However! This may seem too lenient for the crime of stupidity, but they're not getting off scott free. I left a note instructing that whoever checks them out next administers a quick and painful smack to the head of whoever this person is and to suggest that they avoid having children.

After Thought:
Then again, at least they willingly paid their late fee, which is far more credit than I can give most people. In a very twisted way this suggests some sense of responsibility - and hey, maybe the extra cash was a tip!
In that case, scratch what I said before. All is forgiven! Tomorrow morning I'm taking the credit off their account and pocketing the cash becuase, after all, it's what they would have wanted.


P.S. My deepest apologies for the lull in posting. Any reader of this blog is, by definition, out of all other ideas of better things to do and hanging on to their santiy by a thread, so stay with me folks! more blogs on the way.


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