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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Monday, April 11, 2005

annoying people should stop having children

Does anyone know the feeling when you've had to put up with the most OBNOXIOUS person on the planet and you haven't seen her in a while, and then the next time you see her you find that she has decided to spawn a child to raise in her own image? It is a pretty horrible feeling, let me tell you. It's like losing your memory for 15 years and developing a relationship with a young woman you think you've just met only to find out after you've fallen hopelessly in love and you've enpregnated her that she is really your long lost daughter! It kind of chills you to the bone and grosses you out.
Well, it happened to me the other day... I don't want to use her full name in case this blog gets really really popular and she sues me for slander or something, but hopefully my co-workers know how to unscramble letters... Rita (Mellir). She is definately one of the all-star annoying people in the store, which in itself holds a record number for the whole of Fairfield County, which is high in the running for most annoying people in the country. She is intolerabley infuriating. She's a big talker and a big time waster and she's really ditsy and self-centered. She isnt a bitch, she just doesn't know that nobody can stand her.
The last thing we need is another woman like that walking around (because it already makes up %87 of the female population here),which is why i was shocked and appalled when i saw her come in the store with a stroller and a small child in said stroller...


Fortunately, I later overheard her saying that she was just babysitting the child. PHEW! what a relief! A huge weight was lifted off. The child will probably still grow up to be annoying and stupid, but at least it wont be Rita Mellir's brand of annoying and stupid.


Here's to government population control and advanced pregnancy screening tests which is surely in the near future and should hopefully start putting an end to annoying people procreating.

-Jordan

2 Comments:

  • At 10:51 PM, Anonymous Film Cynic said…

    Nice going giving away the plot to the movie "Yo Bold" (unscramble away). You are no longer allowed to work in a video store. You can have permission regranted if you tell everybody as they walk in that The Village takes place in the present.

     
  • At 11:39 AM, Blogger Jordan, and ya don't stop said…

    yea but the beauty is that NO ONE who hasnt already seen the movie has any idea what im talking about...and most people wont ever see the movie anyway.

     

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