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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Saturday, April 02, 2005

Cockbuster - a post against the competition. the first Pro-Wave post so far haha

i know i havent posted in a while and for that i am sorry. i dont have time to do some of the posts im working on right now, but here is something for you salivating dogs to suck your teeth into.. ill write a blog by sharing someone elses blog:

I was searching other pathetic loser blogs and found a decently funny site that had this post about Cockbuster in it. I'm afraid to write the word "blockbuster" because i feel like the google ads will tailor themselves to advertise for said buster (the evil competition) on my Media Wave site (best video store ever...). But this girl has a pretty funny account of her experience at Cockbuster



Monday, March 14, 2005
Blockbuster can suuuuck it!
I know there is a lot of weird shit going on with NetFlix lowering their price to 10 bucks or whatever and now Duane Reade rents movies. But the biggest movie-renting-bullshit of all is Blockbuster, and I'm not just talking about their NO MORE LATE FEES lie! Well, that is pretty bad. I mean, we thought it meant there were actually no more late fees. So Danielle and I rented Harold & Kumar (Gab made us!) and of course we kept it more than the allotted time b/c you just can't return a stoner movie on time. So I got a call from an assface at Blockbuster who said my movie was overdue and I said, "What about no more late fees?" and he said thats just for a week and then Blockbuster assumes you want to BUY it! no thanks. I mean, the Neil Patrick Harris cameo is fucking awesome, but I don't really want to own a movie that endorses driving around New Brunswick and Cherry Hill (sorry Rutgers, love ya!). Anyway, so they said they are about to charge me to buy the movie and if not there is still a re-stocking fee to put it back on the shelf or some crap. I don't know, I was still stoned. jokes. So last night Blockbuster did it again. They haven't had RAY in stock since it came out. Not to mention that SAW fills an entire friggin rack, but they only have 2 shelves of RAY. Come on. Finally they had RAY in on VHS (gross) so I got it since neither Dan nor Dan has seen this awesome movie. So Lt. Dan and I go to watch it last night and about 10 mins in to the movie Dan says, "I didn't know that this movie was going to be in black and white." I hadn't even realized that something was wrong, b/c I remembered from the first time I saw it that some scenes are B&W and the rest are color. But Blockbuster gave me a version that is all black and white. A black and white movie on VHS...SCORE! As the movie wore on, a couple flashes of color came through...every once in a while one of the whores Ray was doing would have red lipstick or one of his belt straps for heroin would be blue, but that was actually more annoying than it being all b&w. B/c Ray could actually be a black & white movie and be fine. But then we would miss his flashy red suits! So I am on my way to Blockbuster after work to demand my $4.88 back, and I'm sure I'll be met with some problems, but at least I know I can get SAW if I need it.
-WHITNEY
Posted by: FLOW / 1:24 PM



this illustrates several reasons why Cockbuster is far inferior to The Wave:
They are dirty rotten liars and scammers, they charge you to buy the movie when they claim they dont charge late fees, they touch young children inappropriately, they charge more than us for a rental in the first place, and the only thing they have plenty in stock of is ATTITUDE. Yea, atttitude.. but you cant rent attitude and bring it home to watch, can you?
AND they give shitty VHS copies of movies to nice young women. and she is right, VHS is gross.

anyway, i hope this post didnt suck too much but im kinda busy playing with myself right now so i dont have time to make it any better. just deal, ok?

more posts to come

-jordan

2 Comments:

  • At 7:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    p.p.s. and paramount hasn't made a good movie in 30 years!

     
  • At 1:16 PM, Blogger Unknown said…

    Jordan -
    Thanks for the good word on my blog. It's a new venture for me, but I find bitching and moaning about things that won't matter in 20 years very satisfying. Hell, I'm a bitcher and a moaner, I just have to face it. Just a quickie: how'd you come across my blog? Did you go through that community crap blogger has to offer?
    I particularly enjoyed this post because the Cockbuster chic is right...they suck. Someone should sue their ass for false advertisement. No more late fees? if that were the case I could rent a movie and keep it. I'm putting your blog in my address book - I love it!

     

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