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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Sunday, May 07, 2006

Oprah for President! and other things only girls would say

Drew was helping a gaggle of yammering chicks who were renting a bunch of stupid chick movies while I was sitting on the floor behind the counter next to him... filing DVDs (wink wink), and I overheard maybe the best girl conversation that has ever taken place. I don't think a series of more stupid and stereotypical things have escaped from the mouth of a girl, except perhaps "Ok, I really like you, so if it feels that much better...".

Having noticed the Oprah 20th Anniversary box set on our sale shelf, one of the girls exclaimed, like a child who has to blurt out everything that catches her eye, "Oh! OPRAH! I love her!" as she was handing her cash over to Drew.
Upon hearing this one of the other girls got excited, but being fairly sure that Oprah was not in the store and therefore not knowing where her friend had seen Oprah in the first place, asked the most logical question one could ask in that situation, "Oprah is on money now??".
This was followed by the equally logical statement from another girl, "I love Oprah! She should totally be on money!", which was met with a bunch of concurring thoughts, "mmhmm, seriously! Oprah is awesome" and "I really want that box set!".

Before this enlightening conversation they were giggling about how hot certain actors are and how cool it is that we have "Charles In Charge" (They're right, it is cool. I still have a crush on Scott Baio... and Willie Aames.).

After they left Drew made the keen observation that every girl that comes in before 5pm on a weekend after a night of partying the day before is dressed in a full oversized sweatsuit, often with more than 1 sweatshirt, as if covering themselves in loose-fitting clothes will mask the fact that they were half naked, drunk-grinding on and perhaps penetrated by a bunch of spikey-haired assholes (sorry Jeff) just 10 hours ago.

And people wonder why no one likes girls...

**Follow-up stupid girl comment: This is definitely not something only a girl would say, but one did, and it was great. A girl was at the counter sharing her thoughts on the movies for sale with anyone in the 10 foot radius and when she came to "Brokeback Mountain" she said "This movie was so disturbing!". Drew and I look at each other like "huh?" and then she says "I mean it was so personal. Too much information! right? Geez".
Seriously, like TMI. I don't mind seeing a movie about gay people, but if they're going to act gay then it's a little much.

-Jordan

2 Comments:

  • At 6:16 PM, Anonymous Michelle said…

    What is Oprah doing in that picture? The electric slide?

     
  • At 4:11 AM, Anonymous Jess said…

    Jazzercising.

     

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