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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Saturday, April 08, 2006

A couple things

Sean and I were hanging out behind the counter just doin the damn thing and he looks over to the kids section, laughs and tells me to quickly look there too. As I turn my head, I see a little girl literally hanging on the dvd shelves, using the bottom shelf as a foot hold and leaning backwards, hoping the top shelf which she had latched onto would hold her weight. It did not. Right as I turned to see what she was doing, the shelf gives out and she goes flying off the wall butt-first onto the floor. She fell like 4 feet from the wall to the floor.
It was so fucking funny, but her parents were there so we coudln't laugh much. She didn't get hurt, but she made a nice little mess.
Needless to say, we were cracking up about it for a while. Kids are so dumb.

Speaking of dumb, I don't really understand why people have such a hard time understanding the concept of a BONUS FEATURES DISC. The function of the disc is implied in the title: BONUS (as in it contains extra things, matertial that is added to enhance the viewing experience, and also that it is an included as a bonus and therefor doesn't cost anything) FEATURES (as in supplemental features, added content for the pleasure of the viewer) DISC (as in it is all contained on a disc, just as the movie is, although since this is extra features it has it's own disc, which is a bonus to the disc with the movie on it). It's pretty simple stuff, and yet here is an example of the kind of questions I get every god damn day:

Me: would you like the bonus features disc that comes with it?
Customer: What? (confused, frightened look) I don't know what you're talking about! What
does that mean?
Me: "Memoirs of a Geisha" has a bonus feature disc, do you want it?
Customer: NO.

OK, what the balls? I purposely answered her question with almost exactly the same words that confused her the first time and all of the sudden she understands and, of course, doesn't want it. I mean, if you really like a movie why would you have any interest in added bonus features about it? You wouldn't, so I can't understand why studios keep putting time into making them!

As another example of this, the average dialogue goes like this:
Me: You got the Batman Begins DELUXE 2-DISC EDITION, should I assume you want the bonus features disc?
Customer: HUH?!? What are you saying to me? A whazza whazza disc? A bonus whatta disc?
Me: A BONUS FEATURES DISC.
Customer: Uhhh what on earth is a bonus features disc? What could this possibly be?
Me: It's a disc ...
that has bonus features
Customer: Well what do you mean bonus features? What's on it?
Me: You know, like bonus material, extra features,
supplemental stuff
Customer: Ooooh. Well does it cost anything extra?
Me: No, it's a bonus.
Customer: Ok.. No, I don't want it.


By the end of the whole ordeal it isn't worth even asking, I should just assume no one wants it. My point is these are simple words I'm using, and I keep using the same ones: BONUS, FEATURE, DISC. I use those very same words to answer the question about What is a bonus feature disc? because THE ANSWER IS IN THE FUCKING QUESTION!!


And finally,
This woman came in and said "where's that other guy with great hair?"
I said, "ma'am, all of the employees at Media Wave have great hair, I'm not sure what you're implying"
and she said "Of course, I mean the guy with the huuge brown hair. It's PERFECT! I LOVE IT!"
"Oh, Adam. Yea, his hair is pretty perfect, I guess..."
She says "No, it is PERFECT. I LOVE IT. I told him I do, I just want to touch it!. It's just so awesome. It's 'GO TO HELL' HAIR!'"
"Go to hell hair?" I ask
"Yea, like he doesn't even care, he's just telling the world to GO TO HELL! with that hair! and it's so perfect, like a wig, I love that!"


Adam's "GO TO HELL" Hair/"Get Crunked" Hoodie

As soon as she left I got her driver's license number and Adam got a restraining order on her.


Hopefully some more wacky adventures this weekend!

-Jordan

1 Comments:

  • At 1:04 PM, Anonymous caren said…

    is that a beard? i would totally hit that.

     

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