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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Monday, January 02, 2006

In Stern We Trust

Today we got the absolute coolest 10 dollar bill that has every passed through our register, and you'd be surprised, but that is saying a lot.
This bill wasn't just cool because in America it represents 10 single dollar bills which can buy you 10 times more than a 1 dollar bill, or because Hamilton was a righteous dude... No, this bill was cool because it had a message.
Actually, it had 2 messages. The 2 most important messages of the millennium so far. Check it out:

Stern Rules is definately the one thing I would want people to know if I had one chance to send my message across America by way of currency. It's also what I usually write on bathroom stalls, along with Drew's phone number.
Howard Stern aside, the second most important thing to remind people to do is to remember 9/11. Because if we don't constantly remind people of the huge success of the biggest terrorist attack on America ever, the terrorists have won.

And besides, I had almost forgotten about 9/11 until I got this bill. I was starting to just simply remember that I live in America, because people still have their American flag bumper stickers and flags on their cars but I totally forgot that terrorism is what sparked the absurd car-patriotism. I've just been saying "yes, I know you live in America, me too!", good thing bills like this are in circulation to compliment the flag stickers and give them meaning.

As if that wasn't enough, we turned the bill over for some more creative displaying of the first message:

Clearly, letting people know how much Stern Rules is a priority in the country. So much so that the author of this love letter to America decided to write it directly under "God", as if to say
"In Stern We Trust".
The one thing I can't figure out is how this dollar came from the future. It is clearly dated 1-9-06, 7 whole days in the future! Is it possible that some renegade scientist was being hunted by the government for his breakthroughs in time travel and just before his demise he picked the most important message to send back to the world of 12-31-05, wrote it on a 10 dollar bill and sent it through time.
I for one think that is entirely possible. Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure it's the date which Howard Stern launches his show on Sirius radio... but my theory is so much cooler. Either way it's a stupid thing to put on a 10 dollar bill.


-Jordan

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