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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Friday, September 02, 2005

And I raaant, I rant all night and daaay

A few rants for today:

First of all, there is this awful family who have a notorious history with us. They have a kid with downs syndrome and a bunch of wild, whiney, bratty children. Most of the time they send this motley crew in the store with the Down Sydrome kid as their supervisor while his dad is in the local tavern the street. This is in the middle of the day, mind you. It's both sad and hilarious (sort of like the rest of the stories we write here). One time during my first year working at Media Wave when none of us were very familiar with this particular family and their strange ways we noticed the downs kid running around with his little brothers destroying the store and making a lot of f'ing noise. I mean, they were running a muck and out of control and this whole band of misfits was led by a mentally handicapped boy. Finally we had to say "whoa whoa whoa... what the fuck are you little bastards doing here? where the fuck are your parents?" (well, maybe not with the swears, but maybe.. depending on who said it) and the Down Syndrome kid says "He's in the bar"
Astounded, we looked at eachother and laughed. In the bar? What kind of a parent sends a group of wild kids, at least one of them being retarded, to run around and destroy a video store while he goes and knocks a few back in the middle of an afternoon? It's just reprehensible. But like nearly all reprehensible things in life, it's also really really funny.
Anyway, more and more they've been giving their retarded son the responsiblity/honor of coming in the video store alone to rent his own videos (still in charge of his little brothers). When left to his own devices, this kid ususally tries to rent really cheesy erotic sci-fi/adventure movies. It's really quite amusing to have to turn him down when he brings up "Morgana" to the counter. Perhaps if she only conquered and destroyed, but she also has to seduce and that's where I draw the line on corrupting retarded children. So not only do they leave the mentally challenged kid in charge of renting movies, they also leave him in charge of remembering when they are due and getting them in on time. Needless to say, it never quite works out that way and they usually have incredibley high late fees because they return their sci-fi porn 35 days late. Then his father comes in outraged as if he never let his son rent anything ever... but eventually he pays. They are super rich, in fact apparently they vacation on a private island and they they fight us to death for a 5 dollars on bringing back some bullshit movie a year late. Cheap fuck. (I swear, the richer you are the cheaper you are)
So let's get to the point... the handicapped kid is really nice and friendly and I like him. I guess he likes me because when I checked him out he wanted to give me his change as a tip. Now, it's not like he was giving me 12 dollars in change as a tip, it wsa 60 cents. However, his rich mom happened to be there with him and right in front of me told him "no no, don't give him a tip!" to which the boy mumbled "but mom! he was helpful and i want to tip him!" and she said "no no no honey lets go". Then the kid notices a charity box next to the door and says "fine mom lets put the change in here its not a tip" and she snaps back "No! that's a charity, we arent giving it to that either"

Wow... good to know there are rich people like that around, especially in times like this when people really need charity. We should get a $10 tip every single fucking time they come in because they give us the great oppertunity to babysit their wild brats and their retarded son. Great parents. Fairfield County Rules. Oh yea, and she laughed in Kevin's face when he told her we didn't have a public bathroom. What a cunt.

Here are two stories from the desk of Kevin:
This old guy comes in and asks Kevin if he's seen his son in here. Kevin asks him "What does he look like?" to which the old man says "I know what he looks like, he's my own son! you think I don't know what he looks like?"
Kevin had to take a breath of fresh air after that, and I don't blame him.

That kind of shit always seems to happen to Kevin. Another thing he told me today was that some dumb shit came in holding a PS2 disc on top of an empty case in his hand. Logically you'd think he'd put the disc in the empty case to keep it protected as is their intended purpose, or else maybe theres already something wrong with the disc. Instead of keeping it protected the guy is pushing the disc back and forth over the case, scratching it up for no reason. Kevin asks him politely if there is a reason why he has the disc out of the case, honestly wondering if there is already soemthing wrong with the disc, and the guy explodes at him, screaming "How dare you talking to me like that! You never speak to me with that attitude". Kevin says "I don't know what I said, but no offense intended. Maybe Paul should help you" and the irrate man says "YES, you're right he should! and then you should shut up!"
Oh man... if Paul wasn't there Kevin would have literally punched a whole through this mans head.

Hope this wasn't too long for your attention-deficit-disordered brains



  • At 9:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It's Claire...if you want me to spread the dominion of "Brooklyn We Back"...hook me up with stickers this weekend, and I will sticker the SHIT out of the Connecticut College campus and the other towns of New London, Mystic, Waterford, etc. All in the name of rock. And chronicle my pursuits with photographs. I already have a sticker on my computer and one on my iPod.

    PS. I didn't want to set up a blogger account to post on Brooklyn We Back.


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