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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Friday, August 12, 2005

Kids say the darndest things!

As some of you may know, due to a handy little code easily found on the internet that unlocks a pornographic scene in the game where you can have explicit sex with a hooker, "Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas" is now an X rated game and has been pulled off the shelves of nearly every video game rental store or vendor. Luckily for the impressionable youth, Media Wave doesn't bow down to THE MAN just because he says a video game isn't appropriate. So, long story short, we have the game.

The graphic and jerkable nature of the game isn't the point of this post though. It's about people.
Last night this mopey, droopy-looking woman whose spirit has obviously been crushed by her horrible kids comes up to the counter and asks to rent a Playstation 2 system and the said X-Rated GTA game.
Being a good employee and protector of children, I reminded her that the game is rated X and asked if she was sure she wanted her child renting it (Yes, kind of a narc thing to do, oh well).
Being a typical suburban mom, she had no idea what her kid was renting and was less concerned with the graphic violence and language as she was the sexuality (because, as you know, this country has seen a recent overload of teenage sex offenders and not of violent and homicidal sociopaths as "the news" would lead us to believe). As we were discussing what was inappropriate about the game (i told her that before the X-rating it was already M for graphic violence, language and sexuality) and how her son might be able to unlock the hidden sex scene, her son entered the picture.
Picture the dumbest looking 15 year old kid you've ever seen and then dress him up like a Gotti (spiked hair, gold chain, awful clothes). This little prick kid comes up to his mom and says "MOM shut the hell up you don't know anything i don't have the damn code god damnit just shut up!"
"heey hey" she says in an unaffected, whiney yet monotone voice as if she's used to being yelled at for no reason by her immature children.... and it turns out she has. This is how the rest of the their conversation went:
Mom: pick another game, honey
15 Year Old Punk: mom shut the fuck up i dont have the fucking code i'm getting the damn game!!
Mom: It's 18+!
Punk Kid: Fuck you mom! Seriously, fucking hell. You're so stupid i can't believe it, i hate you. You're such a bitch. Shut the fuck up and get me the game this is bullshit.
Mom: (mummbles some weak reply)
Punk Kid: I've played the fucking game! FUCK YOU! I HATE YOU! I DONT HAVE THE FUCKING CODE! GOD!!! Mom, seriously, this is stupid. Stop wasting time. I want the game, i've played it before!!!! Leave me the fuck alone!
... more mumbling from the mother
Punk Kid: MOM WHAT THE FUCK!! GET THE FUCKING GAME GOD DAMNIT! WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS? WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID! ITS NOT YOUR BUSINESS, IT ISN'T INAPPROPRIATE, IT' JUST A FUCKING GAME! I'm NOT A FUCKING BABY! you're soo stupid!

... I wait.

Then the mom comes back up to the counter and says
"Well, I guess he says he doesn't have the code so we'll get the game"

and I roll my eyes .

Here are some screen shots from the game in question:
I'm not saying that video games are directly responsible for the behavior of teenagers, clearly the mother is to blame. However, it is no coincidence that a punk-ass bitch kid like this whole thinks he's a playa and swears at his mother who spoils him plays video games that are extremely violent, sexual and full of swears.



Now, of course I have played Grand Theft Auto and to my extreme delight I often forget the game's missions and spend time shooting people from rooftops or seeing how many cops I can kill and it doesn't affect my behavior, but the other week something happened that made me think twice:
One of the fun games I make up while playing GTA is to run over or shoot every motorcyclist or biker on the road. The other day I was sitting at a 3 way stop sign and to my right was someone on a scooter and to my left was someone on a motorcycle - I'm not going to lie, I was seriously considering trying to run both of them over.

-Jordan

2 Comments:

  • At 12:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Jordan, I can't believe you didn't know what the real reason this prick kid wanted the game... so he can fulfill his fantasies of being fucked by a large black man! I mean he's probably done everything he can to get arrested and put into detention with all the other sweet-tasting brothas, but his mom ahd the family lawyer keep bailing him out.

    "Fuck, mom! I wanna get a large pole up my ass! I'm part of a new gang called "The Fudge Packers" They really understand my needs like you don't!Damn mom, you don't know my shit, but Tyrone does!

    PJ

     
  • At 3:54 PM, Anonymous Kirsten said…

    HA! oh my god, the children in ffld suck...

     

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