Jordan or Tom Sizemore? You decide...

This story was recently posted online at IMDB.com...

"Troubled Video Store Employee Jordan C. is battling a rare medical condition that leaves him sexually insatiable. The "Brooklyn We Back" star was recently diagnosed with priapism, which doctors believe could have been caused by years of alcohol and drug abuse. Jordan's manager says, "He can have sex nine times without stopping. His condition explains his sexual addiction. He's in the midst of a massive depression, but he's making tremendous progress." A Fairfield, CT based urologist confirms, "Priapism is an abnormal, persistent, and painful erection that won't go down in spite of orgasm, and can be caused by alcohol or drug abuse." Tucker claims Jordan's addiction prompted the media king to rig video cameras up around his house, which for the past three years have documented his activities with a string of women he has lured back to his Fairfield pad. Three such tapes have been allegedly stolen and are expected to be released on the internet."

Was that story really about

Tom Sizemore or Jordan?


Ok, replace all the Jordan's with Tom Sizemore's and Fairfield's with Los Angeles' and that's what the real article said, but unless I had told you that you wouldn't have known the difference.
I had no idea someone shared my gift/curse of Priapism. That literally IS my life, literally. And if the asshole who stole those tapes from my house (Drew, I'm looking in your direction) please give them back, I was going to use them as video christmas cards.

-Jordan.
yes I refered to myself in the third person in the title of this post. Deal with it, Jordan has.