DVD picks of the week

After going through quite a lot of brilliant movies that we got on DVD, we have a clear winner for this week:

"Over The Top"

Lincoln Hawk will fight for his son the only way he knows how.

Wow. Stallone, the most manly man in the entire world, plays a TRUCKER named Lincoln Hawk. That is up there with manly names like Trent Steele and Max Power (although, those last 2 are actually jokes from The Simpsons... ). The plot is some crap about his wife dying and he has to fight for his son or something no one cares about, the point is he has to fight, and he's going to fight the only way he knows how.... by entering the National Arm Wrestling Championships.
uh... what the nuts? Well, at least the competition is held in Las Vegas so maybe he'll run into the guys from Casino and he'll have a fists and hammers fight with them, but probably not.
Kick ass cover, but the actual kick-assness of the plot is questionable.

The Runner-Up is:

Funky Monkey

He's the best super-Ninja secret agent football star monkey hero around.

Before you read on, re-read the tagline under the picture. This is the *actual* tagline of the movie. I'm left wondering how these movie producers stole my idea for a movie right out of my note book!
If you know me, you know what a HUGE fan i am of animal movies, especially ones featuring animals involved in extreme sports, and especially chimps.
Favorites include (just look at these amazing posters):

The Barefoot Executive,
Monkeys, Go Home!, MVP and the recent MXP (Most Xtreme Primate). Funky Monkey, the rightful heir to the MVP throne, stars respected actor Matthew Modine in a story about a science geek kid who somehow meets a super-chimp (it happens every day, folks) and teams up with a scientist to stop an evil animal testing center. So it has a good message. Morals, and what not. But it's not just educational, Modine also uses his scientific knowledge of studdery to help the kid get the girls of his dreams. I say more movies with Chimps, less movies with Ben Affleck. I also think Michael Bay should do a chimp movie, now that would be Xtreme!



Tied with 2nd Place (oh fudge, they are all #1 in my book!) is the classic:
Twin Sitters

You're never home alone when you're a twin!

This one I literally giggled at when I saw it. Thank God for those Barbarian Brothers, right? Sure, the elderly have their classic Marx Brothers "humor", but lets face it: Nothing is funny in black and white. Today's generation has a new brand of comic genius, and it comes in the form of 2 hulking muscle men with inspiringly intense mullets that are matched only by their gratuitously stylin boots. Why they aren't working today is a mystery but I'll have to assume it's because they choose to settle down from the Hollywood glitz and glamor to start their own wacky families.
The first time i saw these guys was in a deleted scene from Natural Born Killers.... and that really has nothing to do with anything. But since then the seed of interest and amazement was planted in me and is finally being nurtured to grow with the fertilizer of comedy that is "Twin Sitters".
The documentary film "The Corporation" informed us about some of the real life evil of corporations and big business, but this film takes it to another level. The Barbarian Bros aren't just babysitters in a hilariously mismatched situational comedy, they are also heroes fighting an evil business executive who is relentlessly poisoning our air with toxic waste. This certainly rings true in our time and although this film was made long before the Bush administration, I think it's obvious that it was released on DVD at this point in time to allow itself to be used as an obvious allegory and metaphor for our President.

See, you can find really deep things in movies you wouldn't normally know about. This is why you come to Media Wave, Showcase of Depravity.

There are many films I wanted to include in this post that just didn't make it because you people I'm sure already think this post is too long. Well fuck you, you're the ones missing out. Anywho, here are a few Media Wave movie picks from us to you that I desperately urge yall to check out on your own:


Suck It and See - the best title for a porn movie EVER, doesn't quite live up it's name or cover.
"Fat Actress: Season One" - my hero/media strategy genius/fat actress Kirstie Alley makes money on her slovenly eating habits by turning it into a 'clever, groundbreaking' series.


Being Ron Jeremy - tagline: Why be John Malkovich when you can be Ron Jeremy!. This movie lives out every young man's fantasy: To be a short, fat, unmistakably ugly troll who has diseased women let him nail them with his 13 inch dong. That's all well and good, but I'll humbly stick to myself and my inferior 9 1/2 inches.


The Girl Who Shagged Me - "Put's the 'Double Ooohhh' back in 'Secret Agent'". Let's face it, for a fake 70's soft core porno action movie made in 2005 starring porn/knock-off-movie-porn darling (featured in our upcoming post about our celebrated Porn setion) Misty Mundae, this is a great title.


Return To The Bat Cave: The Misadventures of Adam and Burt - The uninteresting behind the scenes story of Adam West and Burt.. who cares what his last name is, in the original Batman series. Can you think of anything more pathetic? I can, check back next week! Just check out the cover, it's brilliant.