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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Wednesday, June 21, 2006

The future leaders of our nation marching for a better tomorrow

What I'm about to report here is completely true.

I just witnessed a veritable parade of adolescent boys around age 13-14 (yea, it sounds like one of my perverted justice dreams, but read on) marching down Post Road yelling, nay, chanting the words "BITCH!!! HOE!!!!" on the top of their luongs. But they weren't just yelling it in an unorganized fashion - no, they seemed to have appointed a marching leader among them who called out the commands, but instead of yelling "Forward, MARCH!" he literally yelled "SAY IT WITH ME!" and "AGAIN!" and "LOUDER! BITCH, HOE, BITCH, HOE!!" as if it were any ordinary "LEFT, RIGHT" marching chant on an army base (well, for all I know they do chant "bitch, hoe" while marching on Army bases).

What is wrong with the youth today? Seriously. Who raises these little fucking monsters of society? I honestly think that finding out that your kid marched down Post Road in the center of town on a busy afternoon with a group of his demented delinquent friends screaming the words "BITCH" and "HOE" would be enough reason to beat the living hell out of him.

I was about to go yell at them, but then I figured that I would deprive every other business owner/employee and shopper in the greater downtown area from a really good story to tell their friends and co-workers later today. That's just not my right to do, so I just let them keep marching like the army of pathetic brats that they are. It's just unfortunate that kids like that are going to end up impregnating hot chicks at parties, and this is unfortunate for several reasons.
1. that morons are reproducing
2. that assholes get hot chicks
3. that's just one more hot chick off the market because she got knocked up by some little prick who yells "BITCH" and "HOE" while marching through downtown.

Sigh. I wish I was 13 again...

-Jordan

2 Comments:

  • At 9:53 AM, Blogger 4head said…

    ahhh, those were the days... mmmmmmm

     
  • At 11:48 PM, Blogger Radio Free Burke said…

    I wish I was thirteen again too. But not so I could be involved in these ridiculous shenanigans, but so I could stay up all night playing video games, drinking Capri Suns, and eating microwave popcorn and not feel guilty about it!

     

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