I am immortalized once again - this time in can form

This is the result of Adam's extensive arts & crafts skill having been held back in the first grade 4 times in a row. I think it's a pretty accurate portrayal of me and it's probably the best picture of me that I know of. It really captures many of my qualities: tall, cold, black, boyish good looks, made of tin, no defined nose, filled with orange liquid energy and if you ingest me more than 3 times a day you might suffer a heart attack.

It is fitting, in all seriousness, that my likeness be rendered in the form of a Monster: KHAOS energy drink can because I drink so much of that poison that within the next 2 years doctors have predicted that I will actually transform into the can itself because I will have replaced my body's percentage of water with Monster's glowing neon orange fluid.

Adam made this brilliant tribute/alter to me almost two weeks ago and it has remained next to one of the registers since then, giving each employee good luck and blessings. It's kind of like having a statuette of the Virgin Mary or Ganesha by your side all day at work - and I think the store is better off because of it.
This may be blasphemous idolatry, but it's not different then the other blasphemy commited on a daily basis at The Wave. At least it's waning us off worshiping Satan.

If you want a "Lil' Jordan Tribute Can" (trademark pending) for your work place or personal sexual uses, please comment or email me. Maybe this can turn into a little business. Of course, I will receive the majority of the profits because it's my beautiful image that sells them, but at least 5% will go to Adam for his labor. 50% of the proceeds may or may not go to a fund relating to Katrina or something.

-Jordan, or Khaos (my new nick name/super villain name)

Oh yea, did I mention that this can is also the first character in my upcoming family TV series "The Can-terbury Tales"? Well, it is.