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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Saturday, June 10, 2006

I am immortalized once again - this time in can form

This is the result of Adam's extensive arts & crafts skill having been held back in the first grade 4 times in a row. I think it's a pretty accurate portrayal of me and it's probably the best picture of me that I know of. It really captures many of my qualities: tall, cold, black, boyish good looks, made of tin, no defined nose, filled with orange liquid energy and if you ingest me more than 3 times a day you might suffer a heart attack.

It is fitting, in all seriousness, that my likeness be rendered in the form of a Monster: KHAOS energy drink can because I drink so much of that poison that within the next 2 years doctors have predicted that I will actually transform into the can itself because I will have replaced my body's percentage of water with Monster's glowing neon orange fluid.

Adam made this brilliant tribute/alter to me almost two weeks ago and it has remained next to one of the registers since then, giving each employee good luck and blessings. It's kind of like having a statuette of the Virgin Mary or Ganesha by your side all day at work - and I think the store is better off because of it.
This may be blasphemous idolatry, but it's not different then the other blasphemy commited on a daily basis at The Wave. At least it's waning us off worshiping Satan.

If you want a "Lil' Jordan Tribute Can" (trademark pending) for your work place or personal sexual uses, please comment or email me. Maybe this can turn into a little business. Of course, I will receive the majority of the profits because it's my beautiful image that sells them, but at least 5% will go to Adam for his labor. 50% of the proceeds may or may not go to a fund relating to Katrina or something.

-Jordan, or Khaos (my new nick name/super villain name)

Oh yea, did I mention that this can is also the first character in my upcoming family TV series "The Can-terbury Tales"? Well, it is.

4 Comments:

  • At 11:51 AM, Blogger Radio Free Burke said…

    Wow. How boring is your work? You should hold on that can so you can sell it on eBay when youre inevitably, outrageously rich and famous. Is there a Drew companion piece on the works?

     
  • At 9:39 PM, Blogger Jordan, and ya don't stop said…

    Not yet, but I'll have Adam start on it right away.
    This will be like a set of commemorative dinner plates for events in history or classic tv shows, only it won't be plates and these will actually be worth something someday.

     
  • At 8:28 PM, Anonymous The Sean said…

    I love you guys, but you're crazy man

     
  • At 4:06 PM, Blogger Cliff Brenford said…

    I'm even more excited by the prospect of a can version of Paul.

    Adam... you have your assignment. Drew and Paul companion pieces.

    Next thing you know, it's a show on Channel 101.

     

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