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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Why is your grandma calling the store?

I just got this call that was the longest most unnecessary use of so many words I've ever heard.
Some people just aren't cut out for existing past the 1970s.

Caller: "Yes hello I am calling your store because I was told by a person I've known for a long time that you might carry the particular item that I have been looking for a while that is a movie to watch that I'd very much like to see. It is a movie, it is called "Hootch" and stars a well known actor named Tom Hanks and he stars in this and it is from the 1980's. My daughter has seen it and recommended I see it and that you might have this available to watch."

-"Ok, do you want this in video? or DVD?"

Caller: "I have a TV and I watch movies through the TV. The TV has something where you put something in the TV and it plays. Are D..V..Ds(?) the glass round things? No no I don't want that. I can't put the cirlce into my TV"

Me: "Ok miss well what you'll need to do first is go outside your house, open your fucking eyes and jump into this century. Yes, I know you're old but DVD players have been around for many years now. I know you're counting on dying before you ever need to buy any new technology in your house (and hopefully before you get behind the wheel), and lets all hope this is true"

-Jordan, the impatient one


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