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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Sunday, October 30, 2005

Nerds are so lame / Shut up, Kid

This totally classic nerd kid (example to the right)came in with his friends to look at the video games and he decides to buy a soda. The soda is $1.25. He pulls out his wallet and yells across the store to his friends "ANYONE GOT A QUARTER??" They all yell back "Noo" and he says "I do. I just didn't want to break a dollar".

That struck me as pretty funny for a few reasons. One, to make a big deal out of the quarter as if he didn't have any more money than 1 dollar. Two, the idea that people go out of their way not to break bills. Normally it's a 50, a 20 or even a 10... but a 1 dollar bill? Come on. It's a dollar. I think it's mighty amusing that someone would sooner ask his friends to give him money than use his own.
And why are people so opposed to breaking bills? Big bills, much like rules, laws and hymans, are made to be broken. You have a wallet and its purpose is to hold bills. Having many bills does not mean you have less money, in fact makes you look like you have more. I love having 20 singles instead of a 20 dollar bill, I feel like a pimp. And since that's the largest amount of money I have to my name, I have to make the best of it.But I try to use a money clip with a diamond encrusted skull and cross bones on it as much as possible, so having a lot of bills is in my best interest.


Anyway, I told that stupid kid to shut the fuck and stop being a little bitch. So he did. Then when he started drinking his soda I tapped the bottom of the bottle so it spilled all up in his face. Then I laughed in his face. Fuck you, nerd. End of story.

Jordan

4 Comments:

  • At 2:07 PM, Blogger Radio Free Burke said…

    OK this has nothing to do with the post (on that subject, two words: PROOF READ), but I found this little gem via your myspace comments. http://65.36.231.149/Under%20Construction.jpg
    It begs only one question: Were you sent here to blow my mind, Mr. Latham?

     
  • At 4:17 PM, Blogger Jordan, and ya don't stop said…

    Proof read.

    sorry, i posted quickly.

    Where did you find Dan Latham's web page in my myspace comments or whatever? or is it in Drew's?

     
  • At 10:54 PM, Anonymous Kina said…

    Holy God. That Dan Latham website is the weirdest thing ever. I can't wait till the real deal launches on November 5. He is still my arch nemesis, and the self-centerdness of this website pleases me greatly.

     
  • At 5:23 PM, Anonymous julia said…

    i believe you mean "hymen" as opposed to "hyman" which is my last name and can not be broken.

     

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