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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Friday, November 11, 2005

What is this world coming to?: A plea to 50 Cent

What has this world come to?
Just when you thought there was a few things you could rely on to be true and constant in this world:
that puppies are cute, that ice cream is yummy, that chicks love it, that there are weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, that 50 Cent is a bad ass mothafucka who doesn't waste time bullshitting with annoying white bitches...

Oh wait, scratch that last one.
This morning I woke up to hear my mom watching the Nobel Prize winning TV show for women to watch when Opera isn't on, "The View" and who was the guest star?
"ACTOR: 50 Cent"
nigga wha?

"Hoe make a pimp rich, I ain't payin bitch
Catch a date, suck a dick, shiiit, TRICK" - From his song "P.I.M.P."


"So why don't men like talking about menstruation? That is so like a man." - from their episode "Women: We're pretty annoying, aren't we?"

50, what happened?? How are you going to maintain your street cred after this? First you get a Vitamin Water flavor named after you and I didn't think it could get any whiter than health drinks. Since then you haven't even put out your own coma-enducing rapper energy/party drink (Pimp Juice, Crunk Juice) for little white kids to drink OR knifed anybody at an awards event, and now you make a heart-warming appearance on The View? I know Starr Jones (the black one) is also on that show, but after loosing 250 pounds, she also lost a large amount of soul. It's all in the ass, girl.

I'm not sure, but in liu of these menstruation-friendly/health-conscious choices I think one from "tha hood" might call 50 Cent a "wanksta", as opposed to a "gangsta".
He's definately going to need to get shot at least 3 more times for me to respect his gangstaness. At this rate he's going to be a guest on "Trading Spaces" and then have his own cooking show on TLC. Ordinarily these are things I would really want to watch, but not if he's going to be a little bitch.

-Jordan

3 Comments:

  • At 10:11 PM, Anonymous Michelle said…

    50 cent is my current celebrity crush and I don't appreciate you bad mouthing him like that. The only reason I haven't let him hit it yet, is I am afraid of the rumor that once you go black, you never go back... and I have a much better prospective future with my boyfriend than some gangsta rapper.

     
  • At 11:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    he lives in connecticut....DUH.

     
  • At 10:16 PM, Blogger Scarletizm said…

    LOL very funny.

    In the beginning right when he put out his second video I was alone on despising this guy. I had to have my friend change her ringtone when she was around me.

    I've been yelled at and tortured with the fact that people think 50 Cent is hard. But now as the years have gone by I have a few followers but not enough to get him out of the mainstream.

    But anyway I want to get the Mainstream out of the Mainstream.

    Good post.

    Oh I almost forgot... I'm umm selling oranges in virginia so you should check out my blog because it's about... uhh selling oranges in virginia.

     

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