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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Get Back! You Don't Know Me Like That!

It's been a long time since the last real post...
and today is no exception!
But while I (we) get my (our) shit together I thought I'd share a funny little exchange I had regarding the (in)famous Forget expose post (if you haven't read it and sent it to a friend, please do so now. The traffic of this blog is riding on it).
So as you may have read, the inspiration/information of my former Health teacher/football coach's profile on Match.com came serendipitously through my tendency to listen to conversations people have at the Media Wave check out counter. I was respectfully evesdropping on a conversation between a high school senior and his friend talking about said hilarious Match.com profile while I was checking out their videos to them. I couldn't help but ask about it, and he went on to tell me that the coach had listed his calves as his best attribute (overall, I can't say I disagree) and thus magic was born.
Anyway, the kid who I overheard telling this story was the son of the owner of a local market where I frequently get delish chicken cutlet sandwiches. After writing the Forget post I went back to this market to get one of these sandwiches and as luck would have it I saw the kid who originally told me about the Match.com profile. Thinking it would be the perfect oppertunity to tell him what had come of our conversation about Forget, I stopped him. I didn't know his name so I just kind of refered to him as I do most people I don't know well, with a grunt or a nod or a "hey what's.. good, you? " and said "hey I looked up Forget on Match.com"
and he said "oh yea? and?"
"I found his profile", I said. "It was so funny!"
"um, ... yea.... " he said.
"...uh huh" I said awkwardly, not knowing what his lack of interest in talking to me was all about..
"why, what was funny?" he said in a kind of abbrassive, rude way as if to question the humor of the whole thing at all
"Actually, i kind of have this little website about Media Wave and stuff and I wrote something about it on there if you wanna check it out"
"Uh, ok.. yea sure." he begrudgingly conceded. The whole time he had been looking at me funny and giving me a weird vibe, but I let it go thinking maybe he was just kind of a dick anyway.

I start walking to my car wondering what the nuts was up with this kids attitude. I mean, he was the one who told me about the profile in the first place. Not only that, but he had a noticable enthusiasm about it and obviously understood exactly what was so funny about a high school football coach being on match.com and furthermore the idea that he put his calves as his best feature so unimaginabley funny!
Then I realized...
That wasn't the same kid who told me about it at Media Wave at all! Combining my horrifically spotty and unreliable memory with the fact that all jock-looking, Dave Matthews Band-loving preppy kids look the same to me (See: UCONN Student Body) and then adding to that the fact that this similar looking kid happened to be walking into what I thought was his parents business... well, I just went out on a limb and assumed it was the same kid.
This means that during the whole conversation we had he didn't have the slightest idea of what I was talking about or who I was or why I randomly stopped him on the street to give him my website address. From his attitude, he probably doesn't even know who Mr. Forget is. He literally just humored me for an entire conversation, pretending that we had some kind of connection about this match.com profile.
What a weird thing to do! I mean.. who does that? Ok, I've done it before... but only because I happen to be a twin and in this small town everyone thinks I am my brother (likewise with him) so they approach me as if we are friends and I either tell them to F off or humor them so I can get out of it as quickly and as free from extremely awkwardness as possible. It doesn't always work that way, but I certainly don't entertain them, nay, LIE to them for a good 2 or 3 minutes of conversation about a specific topic.

I wonder if that kid ever went to this blog and read it... or if he just told his friends about some weirdo who hitting on him. I'll never know.

-Jordan, man do I love awkwardness

Hey if you're suffering post-coital/post-blog boredom with nothing to read, go to myspace.com (sign up if you aren't already) and join the Media Wave(.blogspot.com) group. While you're at it, and if you have a beard or plan on growing one, check out my Brotherhood Of Beards group.

2 Comments:

  • At 6:33 PM, Blogger Radio Free Burke said…

    That was the funniest thing I ever read. Pimp my blog dude, I got yours all listed and shit.

     
  • At 8:06 PM, Anonymous Carrie said…

    dude, that was fucking genius, this one and the previous one. must love calves. oh fuck, i embarassed myself at the office because i let out this ridiculous gufaw (which i'm known to do). i want to make that story into a movie, for real. thats what i do now, make movies, so i could do it, really i could.

     

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