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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Sunday, April 24, 2005

Conversations with Alyssa

I know you've all been waiting for some more Alyssa material, especially considering her last posts were so boring and offered very little insight or detail, so i had to add my own insight. Well, she hasn't posted at all recently, and i haven't gotten enough energy to talk about Felicia's blog yet... but in the mean time, my friend's boyfriend Sean took it upon himself to start IMing Lyssa on AOL (brilliant.. he beat me too it) and pretend that he knows her and that he knows someone who likes her. Props to Sean because this is the perfect scenario to rope her into a revealing conversation.
If you didnt remember from the post about it, Alyssa's screen name is the most appropriate name for a 14 year old girl, i couldn't even make this up:

Qt4evaLvr4Life82

based on this screen name, I'd be willing to bet 50 big ones (dollars, not thousands) that she has a shirt that says "BOYS LIE".

Anywho,
This is the converstaion as it was emailed to me:

So,
I told Sean about Alyssa, showed him the link and gave him her screen name and now hes making it his job to ruin her. This is what happened:
SeanTaylor1: hey
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Hey Whos this?
SeanTaylor1: an old friend
SeanTaylor1: sorta
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Like who?
SeanTaylor1: I wont tell you who it is yet, but I have something to tell you
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: What?
SeanTaylor1: we have a mutual friend...
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: ...........????????
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Will you tell me your name?
SeanTaylor1: you can call me Sean
SeanTaylor1: ok, now this mutual friend is very interested in you
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Well wwhat is your real name?
SeanTaylor1: dont ask stupid questions, this isnt about me
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: ???
SeanTaylor1: now
SeanTaylor1: our mutual friend wants you to know that..
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: ........
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: ???
SeanTaylor1: "you are the most beautiful girl in the world"
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Who is our mutual friend?
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: ???
SeanTaylor1: I cannot tell you yet
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: What school do u go to ?
SeanTaylor1: Winthrop
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Ok
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Who are you?
SeanTaylor1: now lister Alyssa, question time
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Ok?
SeanTaylor1: I will ask you a yes or no question then you can ask me one
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Ok
SeanTaylor1: ONLY YES OR NO QUESTIONS
SeanTaylor1: ok
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: OK
SeanTaylor1: do you have a boyfriend?
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: No
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Do u haave a girlfriend
SeanTaylor1: k your turn
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: ???
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: I want to know wo this is but i ahve to go to lunch
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: So ill ttyl like next period
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Bye
SeanTaylor1: you have to skip lunch
SeanTaylor1: oh
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: No
SeanTaylor1: ok
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Ok
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Bye

Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Who are u!?!?1
SeanTaylor1: ONLY yes or no question
SeanTaylor1: your turn
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Ok
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Have i met you before
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: ??/
SeanTaylor1: yes
SeanTaylor1: my turn...
SeanTaylor1: have you ever been in love before?
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Yes i have
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Have u ??????
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Do u know John Barber?
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
SeanTaylor1: which question do you want me to answer
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Both
SeanTaylor1: only 1 question per turn
SeanTaylor1: ask one this turn
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Fine the second one
SeanTaylor1: no
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: You don't know him?
SeanTaylor1: ok, my turn
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: .....
SeanTaylor1: have you ever had sex?
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: ..............

*Now Sean pauses to talk to Michelle about the conversation.. I'm not sure if he left something out, or if she left something else to me, but there's quite a jump in conversation content here... but this is really important*

SeanTaylor1: there is another man logan

SeanTaylor1: who has emerged as a possible banger
ANOTHER man, and his name is LOGAN???? hahah
now the answer you've all been waiting to hear:
HAS ALYSSA HAD SEX?
***

Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Yah

SeanTaylor1: ok
SeanTaylor1: your turn
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: How old are u ?!?!?!?1
SeanTaylor1: ok... obviously you dont understand the game
SeanTaylor1: YES or NO
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Ooops
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Do you go to Maranacook?
SeanTaylor1: see you are making a big mistake by trying to figure out who I am
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: I want to know
SeanTaylor1: and not trying to figure out who Mr. X is
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Ok?
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Ur turn
SeanTaylor1: we can open the questions up to anything now
SeanTaylor1: and you can go first
SeanTaylor1: go ahead, any question
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Who are u ?
SeanTaylor1: a mutual friend of yours and Mr. X's
SeanTaylor1: my turn
SeanTaylor1: who was the last guy who hurt you?
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: .....................Logan..............

SeanTaylor1: ok your turn
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: My turn
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: How do i know u ?
SeanTaylor1: you know me through our mutual friend
SeanTaylor1: ok my turn
SeanTaylor1: what happened with Logan that hurt you?
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Nuthing
SeanTaylor1: that is not an answer
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Idc
SeanTaylor1: you said he hurt you... what did he do?
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: None of ur buisness
SeanTaylor1: ok
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Wht is our mutual friends name?
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: what*
SeanTaylor1: "none of your business"
SeanTaylor1: the game is off, if you cannot answer my questions
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Yah i can
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Ask me one
SeanTaylor1: I jsut did
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: ..........
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Well ask another?
SeanTaylor1: what did logan do that hurt you?
SeanTaylor1: no, answer that question
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: He broke up with me !!!!!!!!!!!!
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: I don't take gettting brok euyp with real easyt
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Exspecially if i like him alot
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: !!!!!!!
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: And i did like him alot
SeanTaylor1: would you say he used you?
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: No he just dumped me
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Tell me who u r?
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Ur name!!!!!!
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: ...............
SeanTaylor1: Sean McGinnis
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: Ill ttyl
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: BYe
Qt4evaLvr4Life82: gtg


Ok so let's review this:
first of all, my favorite part is that she continually asked Sean what his name is and who he is... His screen name is SeanTaylor1. (almost as telling about Sean as Alyssa's screen name is about her...)How much more obvious can you get?? Then he say's his name is Sean McGinnis.. he's a funny guy. I liked that.
So this conversation wasn't quite as rewarding as I hoped it would be, but now he's established a believable identity with her and hopefully we can get home. Maybe I can IM her pretending to be this Mr. X guy who supposedly likes her.
Michelle claims that she told Sean that she had sex with Mike 7 times... now i dont see that anywhere in the conversation, so maybe she will write in and elaborate on that. But we do know that she definately has had sex, probably with more than one person... but who knows.

Personally, I miss having conversations like this. Earlier this week I was thinking, as I often do, about conversations people have at my (or any) age. I never get to talk about real gossip anymore because everyone is above it. I am above it as well, but every now and then i get a sweet tooth. Hopefully I get some good gossip from Kina's boyfriend search, expcept she's a lady and therefore doesn't give up any details.. what a bitch, right?

Well, that's it for this edition of Conversations With Alyssa (part of the ongoing Chronicles of *Lyssa).
Special thanks to Sean for using himself to get this promising adventure going.

I don't encourage anyone else to take it upon themselves to do this, however. At least notify me first so we can get stories straight, and all that.

-Jordan

2 Comments:

  • At 2:34 PM, Blogger Cliff Brenford said…

    I don't understand...did Sean not copy part of the conversation?

    All I see here as proof of her 'intimacy' from her going "..........." in response to sean's sex question.
    THAT IS NOT PROOF...though it is highly suspicious.

    Where do we get from that to having sex with Mike 7 times???!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

     
  • At 11:21 PM, Blogger Jordan, and ya don't stop said…

    I dont know if he left something out, which i said in the post. However, you must have not been reading everything because it clearly shows that in answer to the question of if she has had sex she says "YAH"

    so there you go.

    -jordan

     

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