← Back to Dashboard

The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

Image hosting by Photobucket

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Alyssa's Blog brings the boys to the yard, damn right it's better than yours

ok so i was trying to research for my open ended/no guide-lines/completely random topic "paper" due for Political Science class today, but instead i decided to work on tweeking the blog advertisements and maybe write a blog. Oh, and i also decided that doing all this was more important than going to my music class. Ill have to write a little sumpin sumpin on how retarded my music class and my political science classes are later, because i know if i do it in this post it will be way toooo looonng for you ADD babies with short attention spans to want to read. I bet if i split every long post into 3 different posts you'd have no problem reading them, but all in one is just too overwhelming. cry me an f'ing river, ok?
anywho, in my blog surfing i came upon the "RECENTLY UPDATED" section of the Blogger home page, and the first one is Alyssa's Blog. I thought 'hey why not, maybe its some chick with naked pictures of herself on it', so i clicked on it.
It turns out to be the blog of a middle school age girl who wrote these 2 blogs that are so completely representative of middle-school age girls that i had to post them here for you all to see:
the first one (which is actually the last one in the blogworld) is a simple friends shout out. what could be more interesting in a blog than a whole paragraph devoted to naming every one of your friends? and what could be more middle school?

~*Friend Shoutout*~

Hey i am giving a shout out to all of my friends that have been there for me when i needed them i love you guys.......Felicia, Kelly, Gina, Eileen, Carrie, Patrick, Jacquie (sry if i spelled that wrong), Ashton, Hayley, Matt King, EVAN ARBOUR (Evan i love you as a friend thanks for beeing there), Hilary Batouse..... A special shout out to Caitlin Bazinet and Jenn Butcher you guys are my best friends in the hwole entire world i love you guys to death you guys were there when i needed you and i thank you for that..... I love you guys to death :-)

if you would remember to just a few seconds ago when i asked you, "what could be more middle-school" than a post of shout out? well, a few things. Continually saying "I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!" or some variation of that. It would have been perfect if she spelled "love" as "luv" but oh well. But the best part is this whole next post... enjoy:

~*March 16, 2005*~

Today i think everyone has issues Felicia and andy broke up again.. I have no idea if they are going to get back together or not but its really not my buisness.... I am in love with Mike and i hope that we can stay toghether for awile but something tells me that he is just using me for a piece of a$$ or my body or something....idk...Hopefully i can find out so i don't get hurt..... This Friday is suppsed to be a fun day i am going to go to Felicia's house and we are going to be staying up all niht if we can...The best part is that my botfriend Mike might be going and i think IT is going to happen.... I am so excited and pumped..... I love you Mike!!!!!
posted by Alyssa @ 10:50 AM 0 comments

"I think IT is going to happen...." Oh my god! IT!! im a 14 year (or under) and i am "IN LOVE" with MIKE!!!
i dont even know where to begin with why this post is completely hilarious. Lets start with the fact the her blog opens up with the sentence " Today i think everyone has issues Felicia and andy broke up again.." Felica and Andy broke up (AGAIN). is this ringing a bell to anyone?
I mean, of course I was not like this in middle school because I am
a) not a girl
b) not a moron
but, many many people where and just like i do today, i used to be a keen observer of the behavior of my peers. every middle school girl is IN LOVE with some 'cute' guy, but hmm guess what, the guy definately is not "in love" with her. guys tend to not even think they are in love until they are in their late teens, or maybe early 30's. and i bet half the time they arent anyway. but this guy Mike might just be using her to get a$$.
i cant believe she spelled it with two money signs! thats so awesome.
I remember in middle school at least 2 people wrote in my year book
"Have a kick @$$ summer!"
one of them even commented to me that it was in case my parents read it.

but then she goes on to say "idk" which if you dk means "i dont know" in internet abbreviation speak. then she says that she can hopefully find out so she doesnt get hurt, which obviously implies that she will ask one of her best friends to ask one of mikes best friends to ask him how he really feels about her so that she can then tell alyssa and then she can ultimately decide to stay with mike until mike breaks up with her for the more popular girl anyway. In order to keep Mike (who she is in love with, keep in mind), she is probably going to have sex with him (what i'm assuing "IT" means... as it means that to all people who have not had sex, especially those under 15). I saw a tv show on the behavior of pre-teens and sex, and this is exactly what they showed, only it was more about the girls giving head than about having sex. who knows though, that was at least 5 years ago. kids move really quickly nowadays. maybe IT means head, but in my experience only a few pre-teens girls said they were 'excited' about doing that, and that was only a few weeks ago.
And this is all going to happen her friends house whre they hope to stay up all night. remember when you used to do that? now half the time i find people wanting to go to bed earlier, especially if they are out of beer. oh, the innocence of youth: spending their fridays at their friends house gossiping about boys, staying up all night, inviting their 'boyfriends' over to do "IT". ah, to be young again.

anywho, aside from my in depth analysis of the corrupted and sexually active youth of today, this post was also just simply about how absolutely funny it is to read what a middle school girl has to say. I totally remember girls acting that exact way, and just the way she writes - especially saying 'idk' and 'a$$' is just brilliant.

i get such a kick out of stuff like this. i hope she keeps posting... cause i cant wait to find out if Felicia and Andy get back together and if Alyssa and Mike do IT!!!! hehehehe !!!

hope you all enjoyed the strange world of the pre-teenager without the use of binoculars while sitting on a large tree branch outside your neighbors house.

ill post about more relevant stuff (like the the expansion of our store counter, old greek men, Wiggles, bowling, the habbits of video store customers) when i finish my stupid political science paper. (which by the way has to be done in less than 4 hours and i havent even started researching yet....)

- Jordan
Alyssa's #1 fan


Post a Comment

<< Home

Blogarama - The Blog Directory Free Web Counter
Web Site Counter