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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Saturday, April 16, 2005

Boobs are hot, even if they are on a 9 year old boy.

There is this KID that comes in the store who has the BIGGEST boobs i've ever seen on a male or a female. This kid is like 9 or 10 years old and he's pretty chubby, but he doesnt look like an EXTREMELY obese kid.. but he has absolutely enormous tits! It is both sad and funny. Now, anyone who knows me knows i'm not the most "fit" guy around, and i usually don't make fun of anyone for their weight cause im real sensitive(and I'm not "making fun of this kid now"). But this is out of hand. A KID!
We've all seen "Super Size Me" so we know that America is the fattest country in the world, and the kids are getting fatter and fatter. Go through the school systems and you'll find classrooms after classrooms of ugly, ugly children. (Some of them pretty hefty too.. sorry, random Simpsons reference)But this is just embarassing for everyone. I dont understand how his parents let him go on without being on a strict diet. Instead, they come in two times a week and rent him (literally) 10 video games and let him buy candy. I mean, get a clue. This kid needs actual support. He could be a D-Cup Lingerie model, for crying out loud. But he doesn't wear a bra, i guess that would be weird. He needs the Bro or the Manziere.

All joking aside, this is a seriously sad situation. I would hate to be this kid or his parents. I mean we already know by looking at him and watching him in the store that he is a big wussy nerdo. He's the kind of kid whose ass you would really want to kick for no reason at all (whether he has boobs or not). Now, there are plenty of kids like that who come into the store and I wanna kick all their sorry whining asses, but this kid just makes me sad too so i cant do it. However, I'm sure he isnt spared harse ridicule at school.. oh man i would hate to be him. kids can be vicious.

Anyway, Now that i got a picture phone (Noice!) i'm going to try to take candid pictures of all the funny looking people I see and then post them here for everyone to laugh at.

First on the list is this kid, and second is Joseph, the cute old guy with big puffy cheeks that gave me that Marble Bull statue that i wrote about before (much to all your delight).
Keep checking back.

-Jordan, the merciless photojournalist


  • At 9:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I remember the kid you are talking about and I would like to add that on top of having bitch tits, he also has a wierd voice and his momma dresses him funny. Either way, I don't believe this kid should change. He is doomed to be unpopular and awkward for a variety of reasons, why not have boobs as a scape goat. Sure the kid will be ridiculed every day of his life with names such as, "Bitch tits", "Fatty McFunnyvoice", "Hootie McBoob", or simply "that kid with the really big man boobs". On the bright side at least people are talking about him.
    P.S. He probably smells too.

  • At 12:28 AM, Anonymous Kina said…

    James! I miss you!


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