Trucker? I Hardly Know 'er

We get many customers that stumble in drunk, and therefore finally able to appreciate classics such as "Little Man", "Dinosaur Valley Girls", movies from the continuing series of "American Pie Presents" and "National Lampoon's...", and continued appreciation of "Family Guy". The only difference between the jolly juicers stumbling out of a bar and the ones we get stumbling in is that our drunkards stumble in at 10 am (which is usually before we get there to open, and we are, generally speaking, sober).

One such customers walked in this morning and slurred through the words that sounded something like "Ehhh, you got any new movies?? the one with Marky Mark?"

Based on my experience translating idiots, I surmised that he wanted "Invincible," and to my surprise he actually had the required drivers license and credit card that it takes to open a rental account. So what's the significance of this story? This isn't any ordinary disheveled wine-o renting Mark Wahlberg movies (if I had a dime for every one...). This wine-o was a commercial truck driver. There's nothing like knowing that people responsible for hauling around tons of potentially murderous steel (especially if the truck is possessed, which it almost certainly is) at very high and reckless speeds aren't only scruffy and burly, but also drunk.
But that isn't the best part at all. The best part, like all things in life and trucking, is much simpler. This drunk trucker's last name is KLUTCH.
No joke. I'd say you can't make this stuff up, but you can, and Hollywood script writers often do.

So knowing the awesomeness of a drunk trucker named KLUTCH, the real question now (which Drew keenly pointed out) is: Is he still drunk from last night, or is he newly drunk this morning? And which one makes him cooler?

-Jordan