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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Sunday, October 15, 2006

I have an oriental friend, so I can say that

I was just assisting a startlingly jovial, almost wacky man who reminded me of Will Farrell as Harry Caray. Outside of this resemblance and his overall demeanor and awkward (intimidating?) height, nothing made the experience particularly blog worthy, and then it happened. Out of nowhere, and I mean nowhere, he started doing what most would consider an extremely un-PC impression of an Asian, or as he might say, an oriental.

I said "that'll be 3 dollars"
and he goes "tree dollah! tree dollah!", as if me saying a dollar amount warranted and welcomed his best Vietnamese prostitute voice. This actually marks the first time in my retail career or my entire life where a good offensive Asian impression wasn't called for. Had he added "me love you long time", it would have been a home run.

I smirked out complete confusion and lack of any other better response (perhaps I should have said 'Sir, my mother was a Vietnamese prostitute. Take your movie and get out of my sight"), thinking it was some kind of strange fluke in his normal, socially acceptable behavior. How wrong I was. On his way out, he went back into racist stereotype mode and muttered nonsensical Chinese-sounding words to himself while walking, as if only for his own amusement, which was clearly achieved.
"Ching chang ting tong wong fong ding dong", and so forth. A regular buck-tooth, slanty-eyed yellowman rice eater, alright.
His pointless offensiveness notwithstanding, you can't beat some classic racism to lighten to mood and bring a smile to your face. Me rikey!

-Jordan

3 Comments:

  • At 11:25 PM, Blogger Cliff Brenford said…

    hilarious. asian people don't have to be driving to be worthy of mocking... they don't even have to be present or even brought up.

    that man won't be bullied by PC thugs.

     
  • At 4:47 PM, Anonymous Dan Comstock said…

    Did you ever think that maybe that guy IS Asian and that he wasn't trying to be offensive, he's just a stereotype trapped in a white man's body? Do you speak Chinese? How do you know "Ching chang ting tong wong fong ding dong" isn't actually a sentence? Jeeez!

     
  • At 7:18 PM, Blogger Jordan, and ya don't stop said…

    Excellent point.

    Did anyone but me notice that this is the second post in the last month or so about a guy who looks like Will Farrell's Harry Carey?
    And since I wrote them both, I know that they are not the same guy.

    2 wacky weirdos who look like the same guy. What are the odds?

    -Jordan

     

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