I'm not a chicken, you're a turkey!

Today, like every other day of the year except Christmas (yes, we're even open on Bastille Day), Media Wave opens it's doors to the movie watching public. You might think "why the hell is a video store open? It's Thanksgiving for crying out loud, don't people have better things to do?"
The answer is a resounding NO. In fact, hordes of people flock to the video store in a last attempt to find some way to avoid having to actually talk with people they are bound to only by blood relation (vampires?) and law, and obviously not by shared interests or pleasure of conversation with eachother.

The same phenonmenon occurs during big rain and snow storm and every other holiday on the calender. I see people renting 10 movies at a time, and I suppose they don't want one single second to go by where anyone has to think or talk to eachother because as we all know, thinking and talking to eachother is how a fight starts.

Don't get me wrong, I am a strong advocate of avoiding boring, pointless and awkward "hey how are ya" conversations where people who never see eachother catch up in a matter of 5 sentences because no one does anything interesting in their lives at all.
Here's an example of my conversation when visiting 90% of my extended family:

Older Family Member Whose Name I Don't Remember: Hey there buddy, how's it goin?
Me: Pretty good, you know...
Family: Yea, OH I KNOW! heh heh, yea so.. getting ready for some TURKEY??"
Me: Yea, I haven't eaten all day so I'm pretty hungry. You?
Family: Oh you bet! That's what Thanksgiving is all about, right??
Me: Yea... sure. So how are... your..? how are you?
Family: Oh, good, good. Everyone's good. After Sam died it's been tough, but you know...
Me: (thinking... Sam? Who is Sam?) Yea, us too. Well, I gotta hit the bathroom
Family: Oh, I know whatcha mean! Alright, take care
Me: yea, I'm sure I'll see you on the cou- or, yea, take care too...

It's completely pointless. If I didn't have some small part of me that has an interest in the basic well being of my family members, I wouldn't go at all.
So I suppose this is how all families are because I see all of them desperately renting movies to avoid that very situation. It's just sad, that's all. I think conversation classes should be required in high school or college, I really do.

Well, enough on that for now. You can find these thoughts and more in my upcoming collection of essays called "'Really, I don't care' and Other Essays on the Importance of Good Conversation"

Now, back to the topic of the day: Thanksgiving. What's most important this year is that we stop focusing on the Katrina "disaster" and the few shortcomings of the Bush administration, but that we are winning the War on Turkeys.

Look at how freaky turkeys are. That looks less like a turkey and more like Major Evil, commander of the Armies of Hell.

This turkey hates our freedom.

But then again, this particular turkey was high on the Bush's list for Supreme Court judge.

Bush:"I'm finally talking to someone who can understand me. I think we're pretty similar"
Turkey:"Gobble gobble gooble"
Bush: "Yeehaw! You said it, Turkey. You're good people."


Bush: "Hey, Clinton got some, why can't I?"

-Jordan