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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Monday, November 28, 2005

Caller ID is a bitch, ain't it!

While I tend to doubt that any of you use your internet to do anything but read this blog and therefore get all your "news" from me, some of you may know by now through various telelvision or internet ads that the "XBOX 360" came out this week. Thankfully, the nations video store-going children know this as well.

This is the first and probably the least impressive in the next generation of game systems and it comes out at a perfect time to fill the void of new technology or constantly updated and super expensive gadgets missing in our current market. With the next version of the iPod still not available for another grueling 2 weeks, the follow-up to that iPod not out for at least a month after that, the iPod Nano 2 not due out for about 2 1/2 weeks, the iPod Trinity (as small as the Nano but shaped in a crucifix to celebrate Christmas)* set for release just says before Christmas, the Nintendo Duel Screen(NDS) so out of date my grandfather wouldn't be caught dead with it and the Playstation Portable(PSP) yesterdays news, consumers needed something to waste several hundred dollars on before their next chance to upgrade again.
*Statistics source entirely uncredible


For this Christmas, males between ages 4 - 52 gather in a sanctimonious mass to worship not the birth of christ, but the unveiling of their new god, the XBOX 360.
While Christ had the whole "love" thing going, the XBOX 360 and its unveiling were clearly the more neon of the two and clearly more awe-inspiring. Perhaps if Christmas offered more rave-like parties it wouldn't have to lose so many young minds from their brand of escapisim from reality to that of the vastly more popular and less judgemental graphics of video games.

Unfortunately, the buzz for this new XBOX system was so strong that many many sunlight-deprived, socially detatched youngsters had to end up being the loser on their blocks without a 360 due to its state of sold-outness. This tops a long list of reasons why these kids are already the losers on their block.

Sooooo, to get to the point:
We've had a bunch of stupid little kids calling us to see if we have any 360's for sale because no one else does.
This one kid called and his number showed up on the caller ID so I quickly identified his last name with his dad, one of the drunker of our perpetually drunk customers and for that, and many other reasons, is high on the list of annoying people we don't like to talk to.
He asked me if we have any XBOX 360's and I said "No, I'm sorry we don't". He asked me if we would be getting any and I gave him all the information any of us have: "I DON'T KNOW". He continued in his interrogation and asked if he could put his name on the reservation list. I said no because we don't have one since we don't know if or when we'll be getting them.
He says "yea, I know, but um, can you just write my name down and call me?"
I told him that I understand what a "reservation" entails and that it would be pointless and we'd never end up calling him. Again he goes "yea, but like, can you just write my name down?". What a persistant little bitch.
I told him no and he hung up.
1 minute later we get another call from the same number and this time Drew answers. The kid goes through the EXACT same line of questioning with him as he did with me, as if I didn't JUST talk to him and as if I was LYING to him about our XBOX inventory. After Drew regurgitates what I had said to him with significantly more tude on it, the kid asks to speak to Paul! (the owner, in case any of you haven't paid any attention). Such a preposterous demand from such a young, fragile boy does not warrant a response at all but rather a swift ass kicking, but Drew obliged and told him that Paul would tell him the same thing if he cared to waste his time talking to 10 year old nerds more than he already has to, which is a lot.

Then like 10 minutes later the phone rings again and my little helper robot the caller ID reveals its the same fucking number again. I answer this time and the same kid from before DISGUISES HIS VOICE, very poorly, and tries to act like a grown man.

"Yes excuse me but I would like to find out whether or not your store has any XBOX 360s? I would like to purchase one"
I couldn't believe it so I just let him talk and humor him so I can hear more of his expert voice impression skills.
Eventually I ask him if he had just called earlier and he gets all flustered and says
"No, I don't know what you're talking about"
I say, "I ask because someone from your phone number just called asking the same question at least 2 times already..."
"It must have been a mix up" he says.
"No. No mix up at all. Are you sure this isn't the kid who just called? You didn't just ask me the same questions??" I say
"um... um.. no. ok BYE" he abadons his mission and flees.

Aren't kids just precious?

We decided that we were going to call the kid back and, despite telling him several times that we don't have any 360's and would not take his number for a reservation, tell him that his reservation for an XBOX 360 has been filled and he can pick it up at his earliest convenience.
OR call him and tell him he's suddenly won a XBOX in a sweepstakes.
Either way, when he comes in the store we're going to bludgeon him to death with the phone receiver.


-Jordan

4 Comments:

  • At 9:18 AM, Blogger Radio Free Burke said…

    If he calls back tell him you got a bunch in but there are none left because he didn't put his name on the reservation list. I think the big M is launching this thing early because although the OG XBox was technologically superior to the PS2, it could never catch up as it was launched later. Kind of like the Beta/VHS wars - sometimes marketing defeats any logical reasoning. In fact, all the time marketing does this. I'm waiting on the new Nintendo system even though I never even bought a Gamecube (or any fourth-gen system for that matter...) just cuz that new controller looks really ridiculous...ly good looking.

     
  • At 10:52 AM, Anonymous Jordan said…

    yea, good idea we would do that but i think he learned not to call back. at least to get someone else call for him, cause a little later a kid who sounded around the same age called asking the same thing... i wasn't sure if they were related so i didnt mention it in the post.
    i agree about the marketing though. maybe now the Xbox will be the go-to system instead of the PS. The PS2 is still great, if you ask me, and Sony isn't releasing the next system for like at least a year or so, right?
    So even though Xbox is getting a head start, is Sony still developing tube technology for their super advanced alien system?

     
  • At 10:44 PM, Blogger 4head said…

    that kid pulled the same shit wit me

     
  • At 4:28 PM, Blogger Scarletizm said…

    haha funny stuff.

    Yea many people especially Christians don't care about the reason of Christmas. It's quite hiliarious if you ask me.

    I don't know why you didn't just lie to the kid because that's what I would have done. I would have given him a date when they would be in and tell him that I had him on the invisible reservation list...

    You're such a ass you could have given him false hope or something cool like that.

     

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