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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Friday, March 25, 2005

You're lucky i didnt break your car door off and smack that attitude off your face, BIOTCH

So im going to Shaw's for some.. uh.. condoms, yea, condoms thats it.. and on my way in from the parking lot i am walking through the parked cars and suddenly i look down and am almost clothes-lined by some bitch who swung her car door open right the fuck in front of me!
what the fuck? Not only could it have really hurt or i could have damaged her door, but i was walking there and she didnt care at all!... maybe she didnt notice, and lets give her the benefit of the doubt here.. even still, the worst part of this is that she STARED ME DOWN after it happened like it was My fault! No apologetic looks, she didnt put her hands up as if to say "oops! sorry!" or even pull her collar from her neck comically as if she's feelin the heat for doing something stupid followed by a 'eerrr' or something... NOTHING like that. Instead I get some 60 year old bitch staring at me with her droopy eyes like i had just beaten up her pansy grandson. which, by the way, i intend on doing now.
GRRRR

so i stared right the nuts back at her, which is the same patented stare i give to drivers who think they are all righteous and can give me the evil eye for cautiously inching out of a driveway into an intersection - oh im sorry, i am in complete control of my car and im just trying to get safely into the lane as soon as its free. No need to look at me like i have a trunk full of dead kittens, you YUPPIE FUCK!.
as i kept walking towards the store i kept looking back and staring at her, and the balls on this woman - she kept staring at me too! who does she think she is? arent the elderly supposed to be afraid of large young men who could potentially beat her up and rob her. She's lucky i wasnt waiting for her outside next to her car when she was done shopping! boohyah!

anyway, i noticed she was walking behind me in the store so i ducked into the first aisle so i could stalk her from behind.
I got a good look at her... just as i suspected, she looked like a STONE COLD BIOTCH. Like a substitute teacher that you knew absolutely hated kids, but was a subsitute teacher because she hates kids.
I thought about tripping her while she was walking or something, to show her what she had almost done to me with her inconsiderate car behavior... but then i gave up on that and continued with my grocery shopping.


next time i see her though, i swear... Booyahkasah!

-jordan

1 Comments:

  • At 8:30 PM, Blogger Cliff Brenford said…

    You should have wasted the bitch. It's because of people like you, passive, weak people that these elderly goodfornothin crazy banchees continue doin what the do. You should have hit her or yelled at her, she'd think twice about getting up on that high horse again.
    You'll know for next time

     

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