First of All, Ninjas are Mammals

I once bought a t-shirt that read "I love ninjas with all of my body . . . including my pee pee." So I was super excited to hear of Jordan's great ninja gang idea. According to Drew my ninja nickname is "Princess Death Grip" . . . but I feel like that's not scary enough and for some reason I can't stop thinking that it could somehow, by the perverse minds of the Media Wave employees, be construed as a sexual reference. Hopefully I can think of a name befitting the kick-ass outfit I believe I'll be wearing on one of our many fast-food holdups; the required tuxedo t-shirt in a child's size, black pants, black heels, and the most amazing fanny pack you've ever seen, equipped with some ninjastars, a pipe, my customized sword, and some Chanel lipgloss in Juicy Apple. What's the good of a ninja if her lips aren't shiny?

If you'd like to find out more about ninjas including the history of ninja-dom, their hatred of pirates, or just want to know the answers to some of the most commonly asked questions, such as this one; "Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about ninjas? A: Ninjas are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they don't give a crap, but on the other hand, ninjas are very careful and precise.", then you should check out the Official Ninja Website - realultimatepower.net. Its actually really really funny and bizarre and even features a picture taken in our den of the kid that lived here before (the one eating the frisbee).

And just so everyone is clear, the three main facts about ninjas are these; 1). Ninjas are mammals. 2). Ninjas fight ALL the time. 3). The purpose of a ninja is to flip out and kill people. Princess Death Grip (a.k.a. Kina)