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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Pizza and Sodomy

On the subject of loudmouth Greeks, let me just recount a tale from a couple of weeks ago...

I was in Mike's Pizza, which is next door to the video store and was once owned by Paul's loudmouth, angry, semi-retarded father, minding my own and ordering my dinner. That's when Spiro, who's a kind of shapeless blob of a man, decided to tell me all about his sexual adventures the night before. (Preface: Keep in mind that Spiro is really Greek and has a hilarious, thick accent. Listening to him quote the Notorious B.I.G. delights me to no end.)

"I was with the most beautiful girl last night," he tells me. I listen.

"But the problem was that her pussy was too loose. There had been too many COCKS IN THERE!" (That's when he makes a ramming motion with his fist to stimulate what the cocks did to her poor pussy.)

"Okay," I say. "Go on," I think.

"So I tried to put it in her ass, but she wouldn't let me. Cuz her ass is nice and tight" (that's when he makes an 'o' with his fingers, to show me the tightness and shape of her anus) "but her pussy was too loose."

Ick.

"I tried a bunch of times - But she wouldn't let me!"

"That's too bad," I say, and secretly want to vomit.

The story ended in defeat and left me, sadly, still having to eat the pizza he just made for me.

Just this week I asked if he had been back together with this loose-pussied girl. He told me no.

"You only get one shot with girls like that," he said.

2 Comments:

  • At 2:11 PM, Blogger squishy said…

    you guys... wow... well can i at least say that i am not surprised? im not surprised. there. its been said. and of course what most fairfieldians (or is it fairfieldianas) would consider an offensive waste of time, i consider it the best, if not only, way to spend your time-- writing blogs. geez, thank god for al gore who helped create the internet eh?
    so i guess this must be hard for you guys though that jordan told me about the blog site cuz now you cant talk shit about me or my haphazardly thrown-together outfits or anything. god i cant wait for the day when you post a blog about some short loud lady who wouldnt get off her cellphone in line and was so LOUD on it that it sounded as though she was yelling at YOU... cuz that will be my mom.
    i'll post a comment when that blog materializes.
    until that day my friends
    -DD

     
  • At 5:37 PM, Blogger Jordan, and ya don't stop said…

    we'll still make fun of you, dont worry

     

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