Pizza and Sodomy

On the subject of loudmouth Greeks, let me just recount a tale from a couple of weeks ago...

I was in Mike's Pizza, which is next door to the video store and was once owned by Paul's loudmouth, angry, semi-retarded father, minding my own and ordering my dinner. That's when Spiro, who's a kind of shapeless blob of a man, decided to tell me all about his sexual adventures the night before. (Preface: Keep in mind that Spiro is really Greek and has a hilarious, thick accent. Listening to him quote the Notorious B.I.G. delights me to no end.)

"I was with the most beautiful girl last night," he tells me. I listen.

"But the problem was that her pussy was too loose. There had been too many COCKS IN THERE!" (That's when he makes a ramming motion with his fist to stimulate what the cocks did to her poor pussy.)

"Okay," I say. "Go on," I think.

"So I tried to put it in her ass, but she wouldn't let me. Cuz her ass is nice and tight" (that's when he makes an 'o' with his fingers, to show me the tightness and shape of her anus) "but her pussy was too loose."

Ick.

"I tried a bunch of times - But she wouldn't let me!"

"That's too bad," I say, and secretly want to vomit.

The story ended in defeat and left me, sadly, still having to eat the pizza he just made for me.

Just this week I asked if he had been back together with this loose-pussied girl. He told me no.

"You only get one shot with girls like that," he said.