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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Monday, October 17, 2005

A few pictures from my trusty camera phone

I try to take as many pictures of people without permission as I can. Some of them are sexual in nature, some of them are just good clean fun. If ever something that happens at The Wave needs visual documentation, I'm ready with my trusty camera phone. So instead of writing a real post, here are some humorous images from the last few months that I may not have posted:

On The Floor At The Boutique:
What is up with people laying on our floor? First of all, it's pretty dirty. Second of all if you're a grown woman and you're lying down in the middle of a busy retail store then you're asking to get trampled on. Sadly, this woman did get trampled to death during an unexpected rush.
The two women didn't know eachother. The woman standing up is actually saying "what the fuck is wrong with you? Get off the floor, moron"


OK, I'll admit this one was purely sexual. Face down, ass up, that's the way we like to... well, you know the old saying.
This boy is from the country of Rand McNally where people walk on their hands, and hamburgers eat people!
Honestly though, kids like to use our store for a jungle gym. As Axl would say "you're in the jungle baby, you gonna diiiiiee"

.
Only in a video store owned by a Greek man would you find a TUB of Feta cheese sitting next to the toilet. Don't ask questions... it's best not to know the answers


This is not a sexual picture AT ALL. The weirdest thing in this picture is what you can't see - the entire woman herself. She is one of the most annoying people we've ever encountered, and this picture was probably taken while she was reaching over the counter to rub one of our shoulders for no apparent reason. She refuses to call us by any other names except "Honey, sugar, sweetie, doll, love, dear" and " pumpkin, sugarbear, honeypie, fluffywuffypuss, wittle wuvvy wuv, boo boo kittie fuck"... or whatever. The theory with a few of the employees is that she is a meth addict. And she insists on coming in barefoot every single time she comes in.


Backstory: Just like with anything else, people just don't read signs. Even if it's right in front of their face in big bold letters surrounded in neon. We've had this problem since the beginning of time. We've done everything in our power to make people realize that, just like in Blockbuster, you need to DROP your returns in the RETURN DROP SLOT. Leaving them on the counter theoretically makes them vulnerable to people passing by who just want to take things, as well as DVD mix ups and, most importantly it just pisses us off. Here is an actual picture of our return slot without being tampered with or manipulated by us.


As you can see, people just don't read signs.


Backstory: Usually when people return a disc without its case (and this does happen WAY too often), those careless individuals who couldn't keep track of a simple DVD box are also responsible for severly damaging the disc by out of sheer stupidity dropping it in the return box unprotected leaving it to be scratched to shit. Sometimes we get the odd semi-retarded person who is SO completely clueless that they bring the unprotected disc up to the counter after carrying it around between two other DVD boxes, not only scratching it up but clearly showing their semi-mental retardation (and I say "semi" only because I assume they had the mental capacity to at least poorly drive an automobile to get to the store). THEN they take the mishandled, fingerprint-covered and already scratched disc and put it information side down(!) on the counter and then SLIDE it across our dirty counter thereby scratching it even more. And this is all done without any second thought whatsoever.
But since we spend most of our time complaining about idiots here, I'd like to show you something we found in the return bin one day. One brilliant and considerate person (who obviously must have an advanced degree in engineering) actually went out of their way to make sure the caseless disc was unharmed. I guess they actually took seriously the rarely inforced "contract" they signed which gives them sole responsiblity for the condition of the returned disc.



They even made a bridge to protect it from falling debris.
**Unfortunately, the discs so well protected ended up being scratched up anyway... probably from their kids. Thanks for trying though


We do have strict rules about renting mature material to under age kids, but we are perfectly ok with little girls smoking cigars in the store. In fact, we encourage it.

These last two I found around town and just struck me as being completely odd and funny.

It seems a bit unusual to put a picture of two people holding hands walking across a beach together on a poster advertising a house for rent.
And of course the classic "No Animals Or Weddings Allowed" sign. I guess the weddings were becoming a real problem for beach goers. Maybe the first poster is the reason for the amendment on the sign - cause love is gay.


-Jordan, amatuer paparazzi

1 Comments:

  • At 12:25 AM, Blogger Zombie Drew said…

    Holy shit - - it looks like that person returned the disc in a breast implant!

    That was really, really fun - - I've always said you have a certain knack for captioning pictures. Head on over to my massive Kodak Gallery page (Kodak Gallery is massive) and do your WORST. Or best. Whichever.

    Drew

     

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