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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Sunday, October 09, 2005

Angelina's Big Brown Beaver (and gratuitous nudity)

One night I was walking around the store putting up returns and this big burly guy, covered in the smell of stale cigarettes, decides to honor me with his thoughts on recent cinema. Entirely out of the blue and full on genius style he busts out this, maybe the most classic customer comment of all:

So I was watching the 'Unrated Director's Cut' of 'Taking
Lives' cause I was
told there was full frontal nudity.... THERE WASN'T. I
mean, there was a
little bit, but I was lookin' for the BEAVER shot and I'm really pissed."

If my memory serves he made some rather vulgar but inspiring comments about how he'd love to eat Angelia Jolie out, straight up. He also went into embarassing detail about how the friend who told him about the "full front beaver shot" also spends a lot of time watching movie with nude celebrities and really knows his shit when it comes to which movies have nude celebrities and exactly how hot the scenes are.

T.M.I.! Right? T.M.I.

For this, and many other reasons (like the fact that he looks like he has at least seriously considered raping someone before), my man here makes Genius Of The Week award. The crack head made Genius Of The Week last week, and the Cowboy of course makes Genius Of The Year.
That's my classic quote for the day.


Oh by the way, if you were curious to see what this guy was complaining about, Drew used his very well honed nude-celebrity-finding skills to bring these images to you and to bring the moral quality of this website down even further than it already is.


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