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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Asshole Burrito

Usually it's pretty hard for random strangers to piss me off, because normally they're more complimentary than rude, but today I met an exception to that equation. I know that its customary for posts on this blog to be about idiot Media Wave customers, but I think its just as interesting to hear about my own idiot customers from up the road at the Mexican food restaurant I work at. Which shall remain nameless since I don't know how my boss would feel about me trash talking customers.
Let me preface this story with a statement to those who don't know me; I am short. So today, a tall, middle-aged man walks in and he seems to be very happy and talkative, and I take part in a conversation with him about the virtues of the tequila in Mexico. I was wearing my King Ranch hat today, he noticed it, and asked me if I was from Texas. When I said that yes, in fact, I was, his response to me was "Well, they sure didn't make you bigger, did they?" My first instinct was to tell him that thanks to this guy I once knew, I found out that not everythings bigger in Texas, and the sooner he learn that too- the better. But alas, my boss was standing behind me, so instead I told him that if I had only stayed there a few years longer, the doctors told me I'd have reached 7'3". He laughed and then said," You know, I had a secretary once that was about your height, and people around the office would tease her. You know, playfully. Then one day, I made a joke and she got her feelings hurt." I said, "What did you say?". He said, "Well, I just asked her what it was like to be the last one to know it was raining. How was I supposed to know she'd have her feelings hurt?" Gee, maybe because she's an adult woman that can't even go to work without a bunch of idiot men making fun her . . . Obviously, I couldn't say this - and even though I'm the same height as the woman who he offended, and probably would have been offended, myself, its been a slow week in tips so I said, "That's weird that she got mad. That joke is really funny."
From this post, I hope the masses learn from this man's mistake. Don't tell a fat person a fat joke. Don't tell a bald person a bald joke. And don't tell me a short joke unless I need money, and then I'll think it's the funniest thing I've ever heard.


  • At 1:01 AM, Anonymous Film Cynic said…

    Yeah but fat people can get skinny. I hate fat people. They should die. I'll tell all fat people fat jokes and then curse their souls. Yay me I'm not fat anymore and I can be a hater!

    I don't get offended at anything and neither should you, dear, but at least you're the way God intended unlike those gluttonous fatties.

  • At 1:02 PM, Blogger Jordan, and ya don't stop said…

    you werent quite so outspoken when your bandmates were calling you a sumo wrestler in the video that was publicly shown to all your close and not so close friends.


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