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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Friday, July 15, 2005

ID4 or Media Wave Gets Its Grill On, Bitch!

I know that it is no longer July 4th, but I'm lazy and very busy and powerful and didn't quite have time to put up my July 4th Media Wave post in a timely fashion, so eat me.

July 4th at Media Wave means a few things
* angry employees working (as far as i know) without holiday pay to serve a very small amount of random customers, wishing they could go home in order to attend the various BBQ's and wet t-shirt independence day celebrations
* 1 or 2 stupid customers coming to a video store when they should be eating hamburgers and sensuously licking red white and blue colored popsicles
* did i mention angry employees eager to go home and enjoy the holiday that everyone else in town has off? Oh yea, I did..



The politics of why we don't get the day off are neither here nor there, though they certainly are questionable. The point is that this year's "holiday" was slightly different than those of previous years. Mid way into the day, I was trying to think of whether or not I'd be able to find a local barbecue so that i could fill myself with free cheeseburgers, and then Paul, in an unprecedented move, says
"We should have a BBQ here! Why should everyone else get to eat good
food while we're sitting here?"

Making about the most sense anyone has ever made at Media Wave, we proceeded to produce a small hibachi grill and some hamburger patties, hotdogs and chips from the only other store that was still open, Stop & Shop (although I'm surprised they were open at all). The only thing we couldn't get was beer, whcih we would have gotten if THE MAN didn't make it illegal for hard working blue-collar American's to buy beer and get drunk while celebrating their country on Independence Day. What the balls, huh? While the whole thing gave Chris and Jeff yet another excuse to do absolutely no work all day, it also provided me with much needed grindage.

The funniest thing is that, while I thought we were going to set up some kind of BBQ outside on the sidewalk to make all the passersby and stupid customers jealous, we did it in the corner of our ghetto-ass industrial-building-looking tiny back parking lot in between steel polls and gas tanks of some sort, with Chris blasting live House music out of his souped up, extremely expensive sound system in his extemely inexpensive car.

Here are the pictures to prove it:


As an obvious victim of recent terrorist bombings, we thought this grill would be appropriate to use in the spirit of American Independence. I call it the Freedom Grill, and it keeps our Burgers of Patriotism warm and melts onto those burgers our White American cheese.


Chez Jordanopolous, the Five Star Media Wave outdoor barbecue. Like most cookouts I attend, there's a car booming Techno music out of the trunk.


the fumes leaking out the pipes give the burgers a certain mesquite flavor you just can't get anywhere else besides a BBQ in a gross parking lot behind a store


I've always dreamed of a fancy restaurant where the inside is outside and the outside is inside! It's a revolution in food preparation


Chris, with the most intense chew I've ever seen. Believe it or not, that's how he looks ALL THE TIME


Jeff in mid-Harlem Shake while Chris finishes off a hot dog that Jeff probably put up his ass. Holidaaay! Ceelleebrraatte!!


"let me help you with that... just let me slip the hotdog into the bun... that's it, don't fight it.. just take that dick, bitch!"


Jeff giving Chris the thumbs-up for entry.


Extreme Grilling... sometimes you get a spatula up the ass, such is life


Jeff was later rushed to the hospital by his angry father who exclaimed "God damnit Jeff, I told you last time: Insurance doesn't cover objects shoved up your ass! This is the last time, I swear to Christ!"


I'm not really sure what is going on in this picture, all I know is that there is a reason why Chris and Jeff are legally restrained from going within 500 feet of a school zone.


Paul, taking an efficient bite of his hotdog.. soon to be followed by some quick productive chewing and concluded with a quick and simple digestion before getting right back to work.


there's an interesting juxtaposition between Paul and the stuffed tigger in the window, wouldn't you say? good composition me. Oh yea, and check out paul.


One of my favorite customers showing his ID4 pride by wearing one of the most visually offensive shirts legally allowed in this country. He spent at least 64 hours browsing through old VHS tapes at our side walk sale, each time wearing the exact same outfit (not the outfit seen here). This is the first time I've seen him in a different shirt in over 2 weeks... I guess Independence Day is a reason to celebrate a new wardrobe.


Unfortunately for the readers there were no pictures of me because I was the photographer. That considered, I hope you enjoyed my coverage of the 1st Annual Media Wave Parking Lot BBQ. All in all it was at least %10 percent better than the normal Media Wave day, and the only thing we didn't get was Freedom Fries.

-Jordan

just for fun here are some more great Uncle Sam pictures from the good folks at Google Image Search:



1 Comments:

  • At 1:14 PM, Blogger Zombie Drew said…

    Jordan, you truly have a gift for captioning photos. I mean it. Just remember: with great power comes great responsibility.

     

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