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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Thursday, March 31, 2005

Naming Stuff for Fun & Profit

One of our favorite things to do, while staring into space and/or holding back the urge to retreat to the bathroom and quickly rub one out, is naming stuff. (If Paul is reading this, that last sentence went something like this: One of our favorite things to do, while helping customers and busily putting away returns, is naming stuff.)

I don’t mean that we look at our feet and say: “Those are no longer shoes, they’re codsbottoms!” or something like that. Instead, we imaginatively hypothesize what our name would be if we were say, a team of hot-air balloon enthusiasts. We usually think these things up, laugh for a few minutes, then they disappear into the muddy ether of our brains. Only one has really stuck: the name of our heavy metal band, Arterial Spray. (For those not verse in blood-squirtology, it’s in reference to what happens when a sword or throwing knife pierces an artery: blood spray out the ass.) The other week Jordan came up with the name of our debut album, “After the Robot Apocalypse.” Yeah. I just got chills too. A robot apocalypse would be fucking terrifying.

Imagine all those robots.

Our bowling team’s name is The Casual Fridays.

The other night I came up with an inspired band name: Bot Meets Girl. (Get it? Get it?) So I texted Jordan with this information, seeing it was vital, immediate and possibly life-altering news. He wrote me back with this: “That’s great. It can be the name of our IDM band.” That is very funny, to about four people.

Oh well.

Anybody else like naming stuff?

P.S. – Tricky’s “Christiansands” is the greatest song of all time. It’s also in that movie “Face/Off” with John Travolta and Nic Cage. Fuck, Nic Cage is awesomely bad.


  • At 10:39 PM, Anonymous Em said…

    We like to make up names. Okay, so we did it a couple times. Anyway, we made up drag names for ourselves. Ash's is Ace Begonia, Vinnie's is Candy Cane (we actually saw a drag queen with the name "Candice Cane" AFTER he picked his name), and mine is Rusty Nails.

    Ash 'n' our friend Danielle also made up a band name: Twins on Speed, with their first single being "Split Lids" (Starbucks reference alert!).

    Making things up is fun; however, I generally just stare into space (or whatever) and think about books.


  • At 8:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    when I work with obo and mindrum i at times call them dumb and dumber and the polish wonder.

    made up band(s)

    afterbirth and the christian revolt
    *the afterbirths first cd would be called SMELLS LIKE ROCK!


  • At 9:05 PM, Blogger Jordan, and ya don't stop said…

    higgins you are a certified genius.



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