← Back to Dashboard

The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

Image hosting by Photobucket

Sunday, January 02, 2005

More Business, More Problems (A Novel 'Bout the 'Nami)

So this weekend was just about the most busy-fucking-weekend in the history of the world (the world being our codeword for Media Wave), which didn't stop me from antagonizing Paul and/or Jordan, Jeff, Chris, Kevin, customers, and that cute golden doodle puppy the O'Sheas brought by to show us. Some of the highlights:
1.) Asking Paul if our Christmas bonus would become our Easter bonus because we haven't gotten it yet, and probably won't get it until late spring. But oh well. I think returning from the dead is way cooler than being born, if we're going by the Official Christ Lifecycle Bonus Plan and Pie Chart.
2.) Announcing that we should rename the video store in consideration for the victims of the tsunami, which prompted Paul to "joke" that he would give our Christmas/Easter bonus to the tsunami relief fund. I actually thought it was a pretty good idea, until I realized that a.) Paul is a heartless Republican and b.) seeing as it really will be an Easter bonus and I overextended my spending limits for Christmas (buying things like mouthwash and turbine parts), I really fucking need the money.
3.) I pissed Kevin off by suggesting that his superiority complex makes him overly negative towards the job and, also, his handsome and clever coworkers. He then said "You don't want to get into it with me...", trailed off, and mentioned that he was almost ten years older than me (which naturally implies his wisdom, knowledge, and sexual experience).
4.) Got into a row with this guy about "Alias" DVDs because the first two seasons were bundled into two-disc sections by slimline cases (like the case for "Gladiator") but season 3 has this crazy whack-a-doo packaging which causes us to rent out each disc individually. So, this dude didn't take too kindly to the pricing being different, even though he'd been getting more than four hours of free programming for each disc he previously rented. The fuck. The conversation went something like this:
Me: Well, when you look at it from a value standpoint, you've been getting all these free hours everytime you rented.
This Asshole: I'm not looking at it from a value standpoint, I'm looking at it from a cosistency standpoint!!!! (spit flying from his yelling mouth)
Me (calmly): Okay, then we're inconsistent.
[The guy takes his DVDs which he already paid for, angrily, and stormed out.]
Dickhead of the Weekend (Customer Award): Allen Levy for asking us to get him a copy of the extended "Lord of the Rings" DVD by a certain time today, then telling Paul that he could "just go to Blockbuster." Fucking hate that guy.
Dickhead of the Weekend (Worker Award): Chris, for printing up a computerized reservation list on the busiest night of the year. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Also, a shoutout should be made to the drunken sluts that run Kina and Meggie's Bodacious Blog. We stopped by one of their affiliates house on New Year's Eve and Kina was drunk, belligerent, and horny (thankfully not towards me). She was dressed provocatively and cursed by a sailor. The same can be said of Meggie. Do you really want to read a blog written by a couple of snaggle-toothed slags? Didn't think so.


Post a Comment

<< Home

Blogarama - The Blog Directory Free Web Counter
Web Site Counter