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The Showcase of Depravity

This is the long hard truth. It goes extra deep.

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny." The Showcase of Depravity showcases... depravity. Wisdom and humor from the perspective of a few disgruntled (& sexy) video store professionals.

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Monday, January 10, 2005

media wave = off da hook

so we have a young disabled chap named matt come in and do returns for us on mondays. he is a delightful guy, always laughing and saying funny things... we cant always understand what he says, but the few things we've got out of him is:
"i dont give a damn about shit!"
"Hellboooy is my boooy!"
i cant remember anymore.. but he comes in with a hat that say "TROUBLE" on it and a shirt that says "LIKE I CARE" on it.
this kid has attitude, and everyone knows it now.

He also has a few different helpers on different days and the best one is this crazy black woman who treats matt like a gangsta pimp. she comes up with the funniest things to say.. for instance:
she calls his wheelchair a cadillac. "matt, put the breaks on yo cadillac boy!"
today while they were putting new releases away she got confused by our system of organization and she was like
"this place is CRAZY! i dunno how you got this shit organized, its off da hook!"

she just said that matt likes to follow her around and goes "you follow me everywhere but the ladies room, but maybe thats where you should follow me with all them other ladies up in there! yea boyee"
well she didnt exactly say boyee, but still...

we love matt.
oh yea, one day the helper called him 'mr. wiggley legs' so we call him wiggles now.

-jordan

oh yea, i forgot to add a comment jeff made about Matt's helper:
"yo jordan, i bet she can fuck so hard"
he also ponders whether or not she gives Matt some soul lovin on the side...

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