Mike Consiglio: A Man of Too Few Hours

The following is a reprinting of a list of days that he COULD NOT work during his winter break from USC. I think you'll all agree: Mike is one helpful bloke. Everything written below is Mike (in his own words), with the exception of my editor's notes.

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Mike is NOT Available:
December 24 - 26 [Editor's Note: Good, Mike can enjoy a Christmas filled with greasy, cheesy, wonderful Italian food while the rest of us let people know where "Ella Enchanted" is located on the wall.]
December 28th (3 o'clock on...)
New Year's Eve/Day [Editor's Note: Going to a party, Mike? Wow, I'd love to go. Oh, wait - - I'm probably working!]
January 4th - Orange Bowl!
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In conclusion: Mike is a worthless piece of shit. Wiggles is way better.

Drew.